Have you met someone who would greet you following words: “It is very good that you came, I have such and such problems, such and such wishes ...” And since information does not come to us by itself, let's ask questions. But only what, for what purpose? After all, with the help of questions you can:
- * direct the process of transferring information in a direction that corresponds to our plans and wishes;
- * intercept and hold the initiative in a conversation;
- * activate interlocutors in order to move from a monologue to a much more expedient dialogue in terms of information transfer;
- * give the interlocutor the opportunity to express himself, show what he knows, so that he himself provides the information we need.
It should never be forgotten that most people are, for many reasons, reluctant to answer direct questions (fear of conveying incorrect information, insufficient knowledge of the subject, business restrictions, restraint, difficulty in presentation, etc.). Therefore, first you need to interest the interlocutor, that is, explain to him why it is in his interests to answer our questions. In addition, it does not hurt to explain why we are interested in this or that fact and how we are going to use the information received from it. Let us remember that our interlocutor also asks himself: “Why do they want to know this? Why are they interested in this?
After we have clarified the need and purpose of the questions, we will try to classify them and determine the areas of their application. Let's single out five main groups of questions.
Closed questions These are questions that are expected to be answered "yes" or "no". They lead to the creation of a tense atmosphere in the conversation, since they sharply narrow the "space for maneuver" of our interlocutor, so such questions can be used with a strictly defined purpose. These questions direct the thoughts of our interlocutor in one direction, established by us, and are aimed directly at making a decision. Closed questions have an impressive impact and replace all statements and statements relatively well. In this regard, the most impressive are the so-called double closed questions, for example: “Should the board meeting be scheduled already this week or should we postpone it to next?” This form of question offers the interlocutor a third possibility - a long postponement of the meeting. What is the purpose of these types of questions? Get from the interlocutor a reasonable argument for the expected answer from him. In what cases are they given? When you need to get the consent of the interlocutor. What are we losing? Information and facts, as these questions presuppose the knowledge of the participants. In posing such questions, there is a danger that the interlocutor gets the impression that he is being interrogated, the center of gravity of the conversation shifts in our direction, and the interlocutor is deprived of the opportunity to express his opinion.
How can we influence the point of view of the interlocutor, if we know nothing about it? Therefore, it is recommended that closed questions be asked not when we need to obtain information, but only in cases where we want to expedite the obtaining of agreement or confirmation of previously reached.
Open questions These are questions that cannot be answered "yes" or "no", they require some kind of explanation. These are the so-called “what”, “who”, “how”, “how much”, “why” questions. Examples of such questions:
- * "What is your opinion on this issue?"
- * "How did you come to that conclusion?"
- * "How many more rules need to be adopted under the new tax system?"
- * "Why do you consider the measures taken insufficient?"
With questions of this type, we enter into a kind of monologue dialogue with an emphasis on the interlocutor's monologue, and, therefore, the goal of conveying information here is not as strictly realized as in closed questions, since we have given our interlocutor room for maneuver and prepared for a more extensive presentation. . The main characteristics of this group of questions are as follows:
- * the interlocutor must think about the answers and statements, i.e. he is in an active state;
- * we move to a higher level of conversation - from monologue to dialogue;
- * the interlocutor has the opportunity without preparation, at his own discretion, to choose what data, information and arguments to present to us;
- * we address directly to the interlocutor, which contributes to the elimination of barriers, in this way we bring him out of a state of isolation and restraint;
- * the interlocutor, and this is the most important thing, becomes for us a source of ideas and proposals for the further development of cooperation.
When are such questions asked? Of course, when we need additional information or when we want to find out the real motives and position of the interlocutor. The basis for these questions is the positive or neutral position of the interlocutor in relation to us and the willingness to convey information. In this situation, of course, we lose the initiative, as well as the sequence of the development of the topic, since the conversation can turn into the mainstream of the interests and problems of the interlocutor. The danger also lies in the fact that you can generally lose control over the course of the conversation.
Rhetorical questions serve to look deeper into problems and, in many cases, to dilute them. These questions are not directly answered, as their purpose is to raise new questions and point out unresolved issues, or to secure support for our position on the part of the participants in the conversation through tacit approval. Here are some examples:
- * "Can we consider such cases in our organization as a normal phenomenon?"
- * "Are we of the same opinion on this issue?"
It is important to formulate questions in such a way that they are short and understandable to everyone present.
Tipping points keep the conversation in a fixed direction or raise a whole range of new issues. If the interlocutor correctly and meaningfully answers such questions, then the answers usually make it possible to identify the vulnerabilities of his position. Here are some examples:
- * "How do you imagine the structure and distribution of the social product?"
- * "In your opinion, is it necessary to radically change the management system in large economic associations?"
- * “How do you actually calculate your payroll?”
Such questions are asked in those cases when we have already received enough information on one problem and want to switch to another, or when we feel the resistance of the interlocutor and are trying to “break through”. The danger in these situations lies in the imbalance between us and our interlocutors. From a tactical point of view, it is acceptable for the interlocutors to dominate in this phase, so that in the subsequent phases of the conversation (argumentation, decision-making), the arrow of the scales deviates in our direction. However, with the stereotypical use of such questions, our interlocutor may reduce them to closed yes or no answers. This will significantly reduce our chances of obtaining information on the problem of interest to us.
The purpose of these questions is to create an atmosphere of mutual understanding, this often leads to intermediate results. They are especially useful for partial recapitulation. Recapitulation (lat) is a concise repetition of what has been said.
As a result:
- * the interlocutor should consider the expressed opinion;
- * a favorable atmosphere is created for argumentation based on a general approach to the problem;
- * the interlocutor is given the opportunity to amend the stated position.
The logical sequence of asking questions in the information transfer phase is not strictly defined. Thus, the first stage of this phase, in which new problems are raised, is characterized by yes-no answers. In the next stage, when the boundaries of the areas of information transfer are expanded and facts are collected and opinions are exchanged, it is necessary to ask mostly open questions. After the stage of information transfer, the stage of consolidating and verifying the information received begins; rhetorical questions and questions for deliberation prevail here. And in the end, outlining a new direction of informing, we use the so-called tipping questions.
And finally, two theses regarding the survey technique:
Thesis 1. We begin the survey phase with the “You-approach”, i.e. we try to put ourselves in the place of the interlocutor; we think about what might interest him, what he could agree with and what he would refuse.
Thesis 2. At the beginning of the communication phase, we take the initiative and try to create a favorable atmosphere with the help of closed questions (the answer is “yes-no”). We ask only such questions to which we will definitely get an affirmative answer; in this way, we will make it easier for ourselves to obtain consent and win the trust of the interlocutor.
Asking questions is an integral part of being a salesperson. In order to start a conversation, build trust and learn about problems, you need to ask questions. The more questions he asks, the more precisely they are formulated, the better he will be able to master the situation. A salesperson who doesn't ask questions will not only not learn anything new about the potential client, but will end up talking to him in different languages, making one argument after another. The benefits of asking questions from a sales professional are:
- they show an interest in opinion potential buyer;
- they involve him in a conversation and allow him to control;
- Asking questions can provide valuable information.
- contribute to obtaining the desired answer (with a special formulation of the question);
– prevent the transformation of a business conversation into an argument.
An assertion entails an opposite assertion and a subsequent dispute.
The question entails an answer (information) and subsequent cooperation.
There are eight types of questions used in different situations. Let's list these types and consider them.
So the questions are:
1. Closed.
2. Open.
3. Suggestive.
4. Alternative.
5. Justified.
6. Counter.
7. Bypass.
8. Control.
Closed questions require one of the answers "yes" or "no". In terms of their content, these questions do not create the prerequisites for continuing the conversation.
Examples of closed questions:
– Have you heard about the service before…?
Can we meet next week?
The use of closed questions facilitates the communication process because potential client can only answer one of the two. But closed questions do not provide information. In addition, there is a risk of receiving a negative answer, making it difficult to continue the conversation. For example, to the question “Do you have problems obtaining new documents”, most potential clients will answer “no”.
Closed questions apply if:
- you need to get a short, unambiguous answer;
- the interlocutor is very taciturn;
- if you need to check whether the interlocutor's statement is correctly understood.
Closed questions, asked one after the other, can give the impression of an interrogation, so they must be used carefully.
In the literature, there is a description of the "truism" method, which consists in asking closed questions, which can only be answered positively. Applying the truism multiple times results in the potential user's "internal" agreement with the salesperson's position and makes it harder for the user to respond directly in the negative.
Open-ended questions do not require any one-word answers, but encourage the expression of one's opinion. Open-ended questions help keep the conversation going. characteristic feature of these questions is that they begin with the words "what", "how", "why", "what", "how much", "when" and other similar words.
In particular, it is more expedient to ask the question “Do you have problems with obtaining new documents” discussed above in an open form “What problems do you have ...”, since even in the case of the unlikely answer “none”, the possibility of continuing the conversation is not lost.
In general, open-ended questions are useful in situations where:
Need to start a conversation;
Go to another stage of the conversation;
To find out Additional information about a potential client, the interests and motives of the interlocutor, the reasons for doubts and refusals.
You should be careful to use some questions with the word “why” (“why haven’t you bought yet”), as there is a reproach hidden in them. A potential buyer may take them as an accusation.
Leading questions encourage the interlocutor to confirm what the sales specialist said. They already formulate a certain opinion and express the hope for agreement with it. In fact, this opinion is, as it were, inspired, and the interlocutor does not notice that the sales specialist thus influences him. In order for him not to notice this, you can not use a lot of leading questions. In order for these questions to evoke a positive reaction from a potential buyer, they must contain his name.
As you can see, no new information can be obtained with the help of leading questions. They are used in the following cases:
- when you need to sum up the conversation;
- when it is necessary to force the interlocutor to return to the discussion if he is talkative;
- when the interlocutor shows indecision.
The leading question is reinforced by the inclusion of the words “of course”, “after all”, “isn't it true”, “isn't it so” and a special intonation.
Example of leading questions:
“Isn’t it true that it could make your job easier?”
– This program could make your life easier, right?
Alternative questions. An alternative question gives the interlocutor the opportunity to choose from two or three sentences. An alternative question helps to make a decision.
Alternative questions should be used:
- when agreeing on the meeting plan;
- when summing up intermediate results;
- in order to push an indecisive interlocutor to make a decision;
- for appointments.
When listing any options in an alternative question, one of the options should not be evaluated, as this may put pressure on the client
Sometimes in the literature the use of these questions is called the “choice without choice” technique.
Example of alternative questions:
When would it be more convenient for you to meet with me: this afternoon or tomorrow morning?
Reasonable questions help to "discharge" the potential client's possible tension, help him not feel interrogated. Reasonable questions contain an explanation of why the question is being asked. In addition, they may contain masked additional information.
Reasonable questions should be used periodically during the meeting so that it does not resemble an interrogation.
Example of valid questions:
“In order for me to…, I need information about…?”
- In order to make it easier for us to have a conversation, I would like to receive additional information. What banking services Did you enjoy?
Counter questions are clarifications of statements or questions of the interlocutor. A business conversation is usually driven by the person asking the questions. Thus, if a potential client asks too many questions (and this happens often if the sales rep is hesitant at the beginning of the meeting), a counter-question provides an opportunity to seize the initiative and continue the conversation according to the plan.
Examples of counter questions:
- It is very interesting. Why do you think so?
– What would you like to take into account?
Counter questions are used when necessary:
– get additional information;
- take control of the conversation;
- buy time to think about counterarguments or the further course of the conversation.
Asking a counter question, the sales specialist should at the same time repeat the question of the interlocutor, showing that he is listening carefully to him. You can also express your reaction to the question of the interlocutor (“Yes, this is really very important. But how ...”).
The roundabout question is used to divert the conversation in a roundabout way when the interlocutor does not show interest, expresses refusal or is laconic. A roundabout question contains a phrase that clarifies the opinion of a potential client with words that are beneficial in this moment sales specialist. In fact, the roundabout question contains the user's argument, expanded in more detail "in favor" of the seller.
Bypass questions are used when necessary:
- avoid rejections and excuses;
- obtain “conditional” consent;
- avoid confrontation with a potential client.
You can’t ask several roundabout questions in a row, as the potential client may get the impression that they are being fooled.
Examples of bypass questions:
Client: “I am satisfied with the current situation and I do not need additional expenses”
Specialist: “As far as I understand, you are interested in how you can save money by being served under a salary project?”
Security Question allows you to find out whether the interlocutor understands the words correctly.
Examples of security questions:
Did I answer your question?
Is there anything else I need to explain, to tell about something?
Having studied the types of questions, let's dwell on some aspects of using questions.
First, a certain interlocutor needs to be asked only certain questions. The more accurately the questions are addressed, the more complete the information will be. Before the meeting begins, the sales professional should come up with a list of questions that he will ask the interlocutor. So, the director can be asked some questions, and the chief accountant others. The difference will not be in the type of questions, but in their essence. It is important to take into account:
- what position does the interlocutor occupy;
– what he wants to know about the proposed product;
– what decision can he make and on the basis of what data;
What information does he have?
– who has the rest of the information;
What questions can be asked to show respect?
- what are the interlocutor's production goals and objectives;
– what are his personal needs and hopes.
Secondly, the questions should be individual, taking into account the scope of the potential client and the specifics of the work of a particular person. This will show the interlocutor that the sales specialist has certain knowledge in the relevant area and is well trained. In other words, a specialist must be able to adapt to certain target groups - a lawyer, an accountant, a manager.
Thirdly, the main role should be given to open questions. They are the least likely to create tension and, as a result, provide more information.
Consider three types of questions and how to formulate them.
Table 9 Types of questions and ways of their formation
| Communication techniques | Definitions | How to do it? | |
| Open questions | Questions that require a detailed answer | Start your question with: What? How? Why? How? Under what conditions? etc. “What facts (conditions, limitations, benefits, etc.) should we pay attention to?” “What should be done to change the situation?” "What result would be acceptable to you?" “How could we formulate our task?” "What do you mean when you talk about..." “If you take this position, what will be your first actions?” | |
| Closed questions | Questions that require an unambiguous answer (for example, the exact date, name, amount of something, etc.) or the answer "yes" or "no" | When is the project deadline? How many units do you have left in reserve? Do you want to abandon the project? Are you the most interventionist work schedule? etc. | |
| 3. | Alternative questions | Questions with multiple answer options | Do you prefer to perceive information by ear, visually or in combination? Do you prefer that I give you an answer by phone, fax or e-mail? Are you interested in the problems of motivating students, motivating staff or motivating politicians? |
In training, the most important thing is to develop the technique of asking open questions. Closed and alternative questions are given only for the sake of completeness of the classification. Perhaps this is our illness - from the very beginning, without clarifying the problem, immediately formulate our version, and then ask closed questions to check this version. In essence, closed questions are hypotheses, ready-made assumptions that need only be confirmed or refuted. However, our hypotheses may not be about what the partner means or wants to tell us.
Hypotheses are best replaced with open-ended questions that allow the partner to give your version. Alternative questions occupy an intermediate position, but, in essence, these are also hypotheses, it's just that an alternative question contains not one, but several hypotheses.
And all these hypotheses may be wrong.
For example:
Are you suggesting that I play the role of director, so that I play a bad director, a very bad director, or our director?
I offer you the role of director, so that you play yourself.
Most people ask closed questions so automatically that the training here should be to learn how to turn closed questions into open questions. For more information about the possibilities of training the technique of closed questions, see Chap. 7 (exercise "Who is this person").
Open questions should be formulated in such a way that the partner would like to answer them. Meanwhile, an open question can produce a paradoxical negative effect: the partner withdraws into himself, loses interest in the conversation, turns out to be completely discouraged, suddenly unsettled, etc.
The reason for this may be questions that are perceived as hidden accusations, reproaches, unsolicited advice, false interpretations (see below about false interpretations). Often the first, and the most powerful and painful response to a question is "the sound of a touched soul string." "Why didn't you do it?" - ask the person. The answer to this question is the sound of the string: "I am guilty, because I should have done it." "Why do you think so"? - ask another person. The string responds: “If I think so, then I am probably an incompetent, irresponsible, unprincipled, etc. person,” etc.
The reason that many questions are perceived by us not as a request for information, but as an accusation or reproach, is the special position of the question in our culture in general. The right to ask questions is a status privilege. “I am asking the questions here,” - such a statement can only be made by someone who has great authority, power, strength. Therefore, the question is in itself a signal that someone suppressive is addressing us, capable of imposing his will.
In addition, as Yu. N. Emelyanov put it, “in our culture ... condemnation and prohibition are expressed not so much by imperative as by interrogative sentences. Instead of telling a child or a junior, "Don't go!" or “Don’t take it!”, we say: “Where did you go?”, “Why did you take it?” etc. An official reprimand or “administrative delight of the person in power” is also clothed in the form of questions: “When will you stop being late?”, “Where did you see that ...?”, “When will you grow wiser?” (Emelyanov Yu. N., 1991, p. 39).
The response to questions is in the nature of a generalized negative reaction, often regardless of even the intonation of the question. It is better to avoid the negative "triggers" ("starters") of such a negative reaction.
In table. 10 shows typical mistakes in the formulation of questions and options for their constructive replacement.
Table 10Common Mistakes when asking questions
and ways to overcome them
| Typical mistake in the wording of the question | Why is this a mistake? | way to overcome |
| 1. Why? | Hidden accusation: "Your choice is not clear to me, and therefore, it is wrong." | What are the main arguments in favor of this decision? What is the logic behind this choice? How could one confirm the expediency of such a decision? |
| 2. Why don't you...? | Hidden charge: "You chose the wrong path." | What measures could be effective in this situation? How can we justify their effectiveness? |
| 3. How could you agree...? (refuse... invite... do not invite... so answer... do not answer, etc.) | Hidden accusation: “You are not experienced enough (prudent, loyal to the organization”, etc.) | What prompted the positive decision? What prompted you to agree? Could you provide reasons for your decision? |
A careful study of the right column leads us to the conclusion that the most neutral questions are those containing the pronoun "we" or not containing pronouns at all. When the pronoun "you" or "you" is used in a question, the danger of a generalized negative reaction is much higher. This effect can be neutralized only by emphasizing the politeness of the wording.
Small talk techniques
A small conversation is considered in connection with the task of "talking" a partner. However, its functions go far beyond this task. As John Kotter's research (see Chapter 2) has shown, a significant proportion of all conversations that general managers engage in are small talk.
A small conversation is a conversation on an interesting and pleasant topic for the interlocutors, most often not related to the topic of a “big” conversation. Small talk techniques are:
1) quoting a partner;
2) positive statements;
3) informing;
4) an interesting story.
Small talk is a relaxed and pleasant conversation about family affairs, hobbies, funny events. This conversation seems random, incidental, insignificant, spontaneously born out of nothing. It is light, like a butterfly, the flight of which is not planned or controlled by anyone. However, this is only an external impression.
The purpose of a small conversation is to create a favorable psychological atmosphere, to lay the foundations for mutual sympathy and trust. Or - to restore emotional balance, sympathy and trust.
A small conversation should take place in the interlocutor's personal expert zone, touch on aspects of life that are pleasant or interesting to him.
Each person has a professional and personal expert zone.
These zones may have different areas of intersection. Theoretically, one can imagine a person in whom both zones completely coincide: both at work and outside of work, he is interested in doing the same thing, thinking about the same thing and talking about the same thing. Most people, however, have a love life, a home, a hobby...
The high class of small talk is to talk about what is the other person's area of expertise, not your own.
The real masters of small talk are my Swedish colleagues at the Stockholm School of Economics in St. Petersburg. At first, I was struck by how attentive they are to regularly engage in empty talk with each other and with me. Then I began to realize how nice it is when they have such an “empty conversation” with you. Suddenly you “find yourself”, as the English say, in the process of a pleasant, intoxicatingly easy and fascinating conversation. With joy and self-forgetfulness, you share your impressions about what kind of fence you put in your country house or what color of pen paste you prefer. You do not have time to look back, as you are already in the flight of a butterfly of a small conversation.
It turns out that this butterfly, by its appearance, changes the psychological situation in the process of a big conversation. The graph shows the voltage change curve during a large conversation. At first, a small conversation creates a favorable emotional tone. Then the big talk begins, and if negative tension develops during it, the small talk helps to return to the positive zone of tension. This may happen several times during a large conversation. The butterfly of a small conversation helps to restore a relationship that has been slightly shaken as a result of a confrontation, instantly correct the situation, and restore balance.
At first, such an “oscillogram” of a large conversation seemed not quite natural. There is a serious discussion, a sharp divergence of opinion is outlined. Why does a conversation about trifles suddenly start during a coffee break? Yes, to have fun again. Any, even very serious, confrontation is overcome thanks to a small conversation, and a big conversation also ends with laughter about some funny situations that, in essence, have nothing to do with the case.
negative
Voltage
Small talk is a noble technique. The one who starts a small conversation shows generosity towards a partner. Just as Antaeus in ancient Greek mythology gained strength by touching the earth, with his mother Gaia, so the partner becomes stronger by touching his expert zone.
After evaluating the possibilities of small talk in creating and maintaining a favorable atmosphere of interaction, I began to purposefully learn from my Swedish colleagues the art of small talk. Gradually, we managed to comprehend the flight paths of the butterfly. So I formulated four small talk techniques:
1. Quoting a partner.
2. Positive statements.
3. Informing.
4. An interesting story.
You said that you had been to Suzdal before?
I remember you love pastel colors...
You were going to visit this exhibition...
I remember we talked about how you like to take a steam bath in your country house...
I remembered the difference between a wobbler and a lure after our conversation ...
Positive statements
Positive statements about events in the life of a partner, about favorable events in life in general, about shifts for the better, about the achievements of a partner and other people's achievements, about people who are not involved in the conversation, but are known to both interlocutors, etc.
I heard that you were at this wonderful festival on Sunday?
I have already drawn attention to this leather cover your notebook...
It looks like you've started using colored markers when working with text. This seems to be very effective. I'll probably follow your lead.
Now the subway line has already been drawn almost directly to your house, isn't it?
I like that commercial transport has now appeared in the city. When you're in a hurry, it's indispensable.
Such a screen on a computer really will not tire your eyes ...
I recently met Andrew. He was so engrossed in his thoughts! Working on a new project. Wonderful!
Informing
Communication of information that is important, interesting and pleasant for a partner.
I have already seen rubber boats with an echo sounder for sale in a sports shop on Liteiny.
Marina just showed me a magazine with carnival costumes to the New Year. I think there is also a horse costume, very funny. And Marina, by the way, has not yet left the faculty. She's in the cafeteria now.
It turns out that you can choose a vegetarian menu for the entire period of the seminar. Today there will be mushroom soup and roast vegetables.
I learned that everyone can join the excursion to the Hermitage. You need to sign up with a girl named Olga. Tall blonde, she has a name badge on her jacket.
Apple juice is at the other end of the table.
The latest issue of the journal Nonverbal Behavior published data showing that women look longer at those they like, and men look at those who like them ...
Interesting story
Fascinating, captivating storytelling, unexpected, pleasant or spicy, etc.
One teacher from our faculty was supposed to give a lecture on the psychology of perception at the Academy of Arts. According to the schedule, he learned that his lecture was to be in room 315. He went to the third floor, found room 311, then 313, and the next door was without a number. Well, just in case, he enters there, sees the students and asks them: “Is this the third year?” They answer: "No." He went on. Looks, another door and also without a number. He opens it, sees the students and asks: "Is this the third year?" And the students for some reason began to laugh and also said “No”. He went further, opens the third door, which was also without a number, and asks: "Is this the third year?" The answer was thunderous laughter! Hundreds of students literally squealed with delight. The fact is that all three doors led to the same auditorium, 313, and he addressed the same students three times, but from different doors.
The criteria for a "correct" small talk are as follows:
1) he is pleasant;
2) it involves;
3) he disposes;
4) provides food for the next small talk.
Table 11 Common Small Talk Mistakes
| Error type | Examples |
| 1. "Violent interview" (interrogation) | - Well, what makes your son happy in recent times? - enjoys computer... Even too much. - What games does he play?- ? (interlocutor in difficulty) - What are his favorite games?- ? (the interlocutor is in even greater difficulty). |
| 2. "Inventory of life" | - Tell me where you've been lately. - Oh, I'm so tired of traveling that I don't even want to talk about them... - Poor!. ... Well, what's new in your personal life? - You know, you want get distracted at least for a few hours... - Well, then tell me what happened to you good, etc. |
| 3. Degeneration into a big conversation | - Of course you are you planning this winter to ski! I know you love. - Yes, from December 28 I will go to the mountains for a week. - From the 28th? Can you prepare a report? etc. |
| 4. Intriguing "Russian native" | -Weird, New Year on the nose, and nothing was decorated anywhere at the university. Yes, no mood. - What is the mood here, when the salary will be given only on the 31st. We don't even have time to buy gifts. -And there will be no prize? - Of course it won't. etc. |
| 5. "Typical wrong" | Employees of the company gathered in the conference room to congratulate one of the directors on his birthday. Everyone is in full dress as the grand opening of the new course of study begins in 40 minutes. it significant event, and many think to themselves about whether they managed to do everything ... whether they prepared everything ... Many are worried, including the birthday girl. After congratulations and the invariable - "Happy birthbay" there is a pause. - So, are you ready for Christmas? asks one of the dignitaries. Pause. Many look at each other in disbelief. |
Verbalization Techniques
Now we turn to the actual techniques of active listening. Sometimes they are considered as stages of verbalization - A, C, C or A, B, C, depending on which alphabet the trainer chooses.
Table 12 Active listening techniques
| № | Techniques | Definitions | How to do it? |
| 1. | Verbalization, stage A | Repetition: verbatim reproduction, quoting what was said by the partner | 1. Insert quotes from the partner's statements into your own phrases - So you think...(further quote). As far as I understand you...(further quote) 2. Repeat verbatim the last words of the partner 3. Repeat with interrogative intonation one or two words spoken by the partner |
| 2. | Verbalization, stage B | Paraphrasing: a brief transfer of the essence of the partner’s statement | Try to succinctly formulate what your partner said Follow your partner's logic, not your own logic |
| 3. | Verbalization, stage B | Interpretation: making a suggestion about the true meaning of what was said or about the reasons and purposes of the partner's statement | 1. Ask clarifying questions:- You probably mean...?-You, Perhaps you are saying this because....? - Apparently you want to...? 2. Use the technique of trial questions, or conditional hypotheses: - Is it possible that you hope that...? - Or maybe you would like to...? -Maybe it's more important for you to win than to keep the team? |
These techniques were first formulated by Carl Rogers. And he did use them, especially the first two. I was lucky, I watched the work of Carl Rogers in Moscow. He conducted a demonstration interview with a client in the huge hall of the Faculty of Humanities at Moscow University in 1984. There was an amazing feeling that he was only repeating, gently returning to the client each time her own phrase. Sometimes he combined two phrases into one or generalized them. However, there were almost no interpretations in his work.
In his books, Rogers emphasized that he very rarely uses interpretations because they are useless and sometimes harmful. “If these interpretations ... turn out to be accurate, then they either generate powerful protection, or (even worse) deprive a person of protection altogether, leaving him vulnerable to a blow or broken ...” (C. Rogers, 1970, p. 72) . False interpretations can be even more damaging: “...it hard, when you are mistaken for someone you are not, or when they hear something you didn't say. This causes anger, futility and frustration” (C. Rogers, 1980, p. 12).
However, in Russian culture interpretation is perhaps more familiar than simple, verbatim repetition. In our joint research with M.Ya. , turns out to be only in the last third place (Sidorenko E.V., Soloveichik M.Ya., 1989). Mere repetition does not seem to be as effective as trying to reproduce the essence or penetrate the true reasons for the statement.
The functions of verbalization techniques are described in the works of N. Yu. Khryashcheva and V. P. Zakharov (Zakharov V. P., 1990; Khryashcheva N. Yu., Zakharov V. P., 1990). In the description of specific exercises in Chap. 7 we will talk about these functions later. And now we will discuss the most common mistakes in the application of verbalization techniques.
Table 13 Common Verbalization Mistakes and How to Overcome Them
It is a well-known truth: who asks the right question, he gets the right answer. Questions allow you to:
Direct the process of transferring information in a direction that meets your plans and wishes;
To intercept and keep the initiative in a conversation;
Activate the interlocutor in order to move from a monologue to a much more effective dialogue in terms of information transfer;
The interlocutor to prove himself, to show what he knows, and to provide the information you need yourself.
There are several groups of questions. The Yugoslav psychologist P. Mitsich, for example, identifies the following types of questions:
"Closed Questions" These are questions that can be answered "yes" or "no". They lead to the creation of a tense atmosphere of the conversation, as they sharply narrow the "space for maneuver" of your interlocutor.
"Open questions" These are questions that cannot be answered "yes" or "no" and require some explanation. They usually begin with the words: “what”, “who”, “how”, “how much”, “why”, “what is your opinion”.
Such questions are asked when you need additional information or when you want to find out the real motives and position of the interlocutor.
Rhetorical questions serve to delve deeper into issues. These questions are not answered directly, as their purpose is to raise new questions and point out unresolved issues, or to secure support for your position from the participants in the conversation through tacit approval. For example: “Can we consider such phenomena normal?”, “After all, we are of the same opinion on this issue?”
"Tipping Questions" keep the conversation in a fixed direction or bring up new issues. They are given in those cases when you have already received sufficient information on one problem and want to switch to another, or when you feel the resistance of the interlocutor and are trying to overcome it.
If the interlocutor answers such questions, then the answers usually reveal the vulnerabilities of his position. For example: “What do you think, is it necessary ...”, “How do you really happen ...”, “How do you imagine ...”
Questions for Consideration force the interlocutor to reflect, think carefully and comment on what was said. He shall be given the opportunity to amend the stated position. As a result, a favorable atmosphere is created based on a common approach to the problem. Examples of such questions: “Do you think that ...”, “Did I understand your message (opinion) correctly that ...”
At the beginning of the conversation take the lead and try to create a favorable atmosphere with "closed questions". In this case, you should ask only such questions, to which you are sure to get an affirmative answer. This will make it easier for you to get consent and win the trust of the interlocutor.
Examples of "closed questions": "Do you think you are ready to..." - The likely answer is "yes". "Will you be interested in ..." - The likely answer is "yes." “In order to establish whether it is appropriate for you to involve our firm, some information is needed. May I ask you a few questions about this?” - The likely answer is yes.
At the next stage When the boundaries of the areas of information transfer are expanded and opinions are exchanged, “open questions” should be asked predominantly.
After that comes verification stage received information. Rhetorical questions and questions for deliberation prevail here.
At the end of the conversation When planning a new direction for informing, use tipping questions.
A more detailed classification of interlocutors' questions is given by the German psychologist N. Enkelman. Let us give this classification and indicate the technique recommended by this scientist for posing them, based on the fact that by asking a question, you already determine the type of answer.
Information questions. It is about collecting the information that is needed to form an idea about something. Information questions are always open questions. This means that the question concerns a particular subject or state of affairs, while the answerer, giving certain information, gives explanations.
Test questions. It is important to ask control questions during any conversation to find out if the interlocutor is still listening to you, whether he understands you or just agrees.
The most simple control questions: "What do you think about it?"; “Do you feel the same way as I do?”; "Don't you think it's a worthwhile business?"
By the reaction of the interlocutor, you will notice whether he is following your thought. If you, when answering a security question, reveal rejection or misunderstanding, you will have to go back a little.
Questions for orientation. They are asked to establish whether the interlocutor continues to adhere to the previously expressed opinion or previous intention.
The simplest questions of this type are: "Do you have any other questions about this topic?"; "What is your opinion on this item?"; “And what conclusions did you come to?”; “Do you understand what purpose we are pursuing with this?”
Of course, after you have asked a question for orientation, you need to be silent and allow the interlocutor to speak. Don't rush him.
He must concentrate, sort out his thoughts and express his judgment. By answering a similar question, you will immediately find out for yourself what the interlocutor understood, whether he is ready to agree with your arguments.
Supporting questions ask in order to come to an understanding. The English are somewhat more prudent in this sense than others. Usually any conversation they have begins with an exchange of opinions about the weather. If unanimity is reached on this issue, it is much easier to move on to solving the following problems. In any conversation, you need to intersperse confirming questions and always focus on what connects, and not on what separates, for example: "You are probably also glad that ...", "If I'm not mistaken, you think , what..."
introductory questions, as their name already implies, they should acquaint you with the opinion of the interlocutor. Thus, these are also open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”, for example: “Are you satisfied with ...”, “What are your goals regarding ...”
Counter questions. Although it is generally impolite to answer a question with a question, a counter-question is a clever psychological device, for example: “How much does this tour cost?” Answer: “How many do you want to buy?” Questions of this kind lead to a gradual narrowing of the conversation and bring the interlocutor closer and closer to the moment when he says the final “yes”.
Alternative questions. These questions provide the interlocutor with a choice. Number options, however, should not exceed three. Alternative questions offer quick solutions. At the same time, the word “or” is most often the main component of the question: “Which day of the week will suit you the most: Monday or Tuesday?”, “What color are you interested in: yellow or red?”.
One-sided questions. This is just a repetition of your question by the interlocutor as a sign that he understood what was being said. He repeats the question and only then gives the answer. The result of such a question is twofold: you get the impression that your question is correctly understood, and the answerer gets the opportunity to think carefully about his answer.
Certifying remarks. With your remark: “This is a very good question,” you make it clear to your interlocutor that he asks smart questions and captures the essence of the conversation well. Another possibility: "I'm glad you're asking me this exact question." Or: "The fact that you ask me this question proves that..."
If you want to fully display the art of conversation, you must insert attesting remarks from time to time, because nothing and no one will please your interlocutor more than his own rightness.
Guiding questions. AT You can take control of the conversation and direct it in the direction that suits you best. Do not let the interlocutors impose on you an undesirable direction of the conversation.
provocative questions. To provoke means to challenge, to incite. Whoever asks a provocative question should be aware that this is an incitement. Meanwhile, such questions should also be used in a conversation in order to establish what your partner really wants and whether he understands the situation correctly.
Examples: “Do you really think that your company will still be competitive in the next three years?”; “Are you sure that you can sell this product at this price for a long time?”
Questions that open negotiations, reports (introductory).
A well-posed question is a good start. Negotiating partners or listeners immediately become interested, a state of positive expectation arises.
Example: “If I could offer you a solution to a daily production problem, would you find seven minutes of time for me?”.
Concluding questions. The purpose of closing questions is to end the conversation. It is best to first ask one or two confirming questions, accompanied by a friendly smile and, if possible, an approving nod of the head: “Was I able to convince you of the benefits of this proposal for your enterprise?”; “Have you made sure how convenient it is to use?”; “As a specialist, have you noticed how the equipment is combined with the environment in the room?”. And then, without further transition, you can ask a concluding question. Example: “Which installation date suits you more - November 15 or December 15?”
Technique for answering interlocutor questions.
The essence of this technique can be reduced to several fundamental important rules:
1. For complex problematic issues please answer if you have a thoughtful solution to this problem. If there is no such option, then it is better not to improvise, because it is very easy to get into a mess.
2. If the questioner uses negative, incorrect words or sentences in his question, then it is not necessary to repeat them when answering.
3. On provocative questions better not to answer. Or transfer the conversation to the questioner himself, or to the nature of the question.
4. The more emotional the question, the shorter the answer should be.
5. The more the questioner is overwhelmed with emotions, the calmer and cooler it is necessary to answer him.