Problems with children, with parents, quarrels in the family, low self-esteem, difficulties in making decisions, frequent dismissals, inability to start a family - what problems are most often addressed to a psychologist? What worries and worries people the most? Is there any pattern? We asked our professional psychologists about this.
Maria Veral
Psychologist, art therapist, business coach, webinar trainer. I work individually with adults and family, married couples, I advise on the issue of child-parent relationships. I conduct psychological consultations in person in the city of Kineshma or via Skype.
Since I am a family psychologist, most often I am approached with questions of marital relations or with problems in contact with a child.
Speaking in more detail, one of the spouses often turns, who wants to influence the other so that he changes, and thus the family would be preserved.
Or it happens that the client cannot make a choice - to stay in the family or go to another partner.
And in the child-parent requests, the problem of disobedience of children, especially adolescents, prevails. And it all starts with the words: he began to behave so badly, he used to be quiet and calm, but now he is rude, does not answer questions, deceives. What should I do with it? How to establish contact and communication with him?
Well, and many others, of course, topics that concern parents and spouses in personal relationships.
Ovsyanik Lyudmila Mikhailovna
Practical psychologist
I noticed an interesting pattern of requests.
In some waves, clients come with similar requests, for example, a whole series of married couples to resolve conflict issues.
At other times, there is a flow of parents with elementary school children.
At some time, clients with individual requests gather, for example, women exclusively by name: Olga.
Often, with such requests, it is important to keep records so as not to get confused in clients.
There was once such a period when mothers came with heavy children - who had to be transported to a psychiatric children's dispensary.
At this stage, men under 40 come to me.
Once I even tried to keep statistics by months - these statistics are visual and amazing :).
Smelova Natalya Vladimirovna
practicing Gestalt therapist, women's psychologist, host of the Women's Club on Tverskaya
The most frequent requests from clients or what is not taught either at school or at Univer?
I was pleased with one of the last clients who received an express consultation from me. Her request sounded almost in professional psychological jargon: "Separation from my parents is important to me!" And she is basically right!
In our field (as in any other professional, related to helping people), there are two languages: professional and "human". So, if we formulate in professional jargon the requests that really lie under the complaints, the topics of clients asking them to advise something, then they most often come down to several, in my opinion, things (one of the possible classifications):
- it is "human contact" that is primarily important for a person, constructive, developing his personal maturity through his awareness
- development is important for everyone Feedback. For many years in the field of business, social and gestalt psychology I have observed this as a necessary component of any process (from skill training to full-fledged psychotherapy)
- everyone intuitively goes to resist internal transformation, self-acceptance, and then in the end, all the same, morally and psychologically "vomits" over himself (the request is a personally mature perception of life and wise, balanced decisions).
Transactional analysts will surely say that a person comes to them for the acceptance of his "inner child", understanding his "inner parent" better and nurturing his "inner adult" with care. A specialist in the initiations of male and female maturity, it is mentioned that a person follows the initiations of internal maturity in order to overcome the crises of the formation of personality. My commitment to the Gestalt approach in psychology will add that a person first of all goes to improve the quality of his life (in any of the areas), through the development of new mechanisms. In the case of Gestalt therapy, these are the mechanisms of awareness (4 steps of awareness, individual cycle of experience and personal ways break contact). From a month or more will require conscious practice (weekly) of one of the topics.
The topics are not even that important, they can sound from the client, like relationships with mom, husband, children (or other loved ones), complaints about relationships with yourself (something hurts somewhere, is lame - fix your self-esteem), complaints about the environment The world, colleagues, work, social realization or reality or the topic of separation from parents (how professional!).
All requests, they are complaints about the life of the client, in the end it is a mixture of helplessness (lack of very specific skills for building relationships, family harmony, social realization or something else, since no one is taught this at school) plus real ways and the client's unique mechanisms of becoming a victim of a situation instead of being its master. Only awareness makes us the masters of ourselves and our lives, unconscious patterns of behavior make us automatic personalities.
And these complaints pour from the client, as if from a cornucopia, until the specialist gently says stop, the stories are no longer so important, it is important to understand how you do it, the associative series (will lead us to the past, which is always tied to the future). One meeting - one topic, even one month - one topic (this is how I work) - at least 4 steps we go through sequentially every week for a month. What should the client realize in his request?
Options: how he makes himself a victim of circumstances and how he used to do it (an outdated scheme of childhood), how the responsibility for the quality of his life is shifted to the world around him. Another point: what is the strength of our weaknesses and what schemes and mechanisms of behavior (patterns) destroy us?
On the surface, the client always has only 3 complaints: about himself, about others, or about circumstances. Our ambush and illusion is that we are by nature so prone to automatisms (saving the energy of our brain), when it seems to us that we think consciously, sometimes we really lose the freedom of choice or contact with the surrounding reality (depending on our way of defending ourselves). from the World), the client goes into impotence and goes for help.
Awareness and training in this process returns inner strength. At the same time, life does not cardinally change practically no, just after acquiring this skill, our perception really changes to a quality that is more calm and "wise" or something. I'm not afraid of this word. We all seek wisdom, ask for wisdom and follow it. The wisdom of psychology begins with understanding yourself
Abakumova Svetlana Yurievna
certified analytical-oriented psychologist, I work with adults individually
When a client decides to seek help from a psychologist, what request do clients most often ask?
In my opinion, in order to seek help, you must first recognize within yourself that you need the help of a specialist. After all, we often try to solve the problem ourselves to the last. By acknowledging our need for help, we acknowledge our vulnerability, acknowledging that we are not omnipotent. And this is not always easy to admit.
So, with what requests do clients come to me?
Most often, these are women who really want to be happy in all areas - within themselves, in the family, in relationships. They want to feel happiness, but there is something that does not allow them to feel this very happiness. And this is the first group of clients - in the process of work, we learn to understand ourselves, to answer the question of what happiness is specifically for me and how I can come to it.
The next group I would include people who are confused. Something is happening around them, but they cannot explain exactly why they are uncomfortable. They would love to change something in their lives, but they cannot understand what exactly needs to be changed in order to become good. As a rule, it is difficult for such a client to formulate a request for therapy.
There are clients who hate themselves furiously and want to remake, throw out “everything unnecessary” from themselves. They believe that as soon as they conquer everything that hinders them in themselves, their life will certainly get better and everything will become wonderful. Here we work with self-acceptance, answering the question “who am I”. Our goal is inner harmony.
Sometimes “little” clients come.” Not in the sense that they are children, such clients may well be adult men and women, but for some reason they have not been able to mature internally. Usually they are very naive and have a childish idea of the world, and therefore the adult world seems to them very difficult and obscure. The request is connected just with this - to learn to adapt in the world of people.
In general, it turns out that I work with the resolution of internal conflicts and the acceptance of a person by himself. This is the kind of stuff that clients come to me with.
Shabshin Ilya Iosifovich
Individual and family counseling, working with adults
Here are some of the most common requests from my clients:
“My husband and I have more and more conflicts and quarrels. We would have divorced if it weren't for the kids. Can the situation be improved?
“I discovered that my husband has a mistress. I do not know what to do. Get a divorce? Kick him out? Forgive?
“I am the mistress of a married man. He does not love his wife, but loves me. But he does not divorce her, and I want a family, children. What should I do?"
“I have different ailments: either pain in the heart, or a migraine, or my stomach hurts. I went through all the examinations, the doctors say that I am healthy and advised me to go to a psychologist.”
"I'm alone; I want to love, I want a family, but nothing works out, love relationships do not add up .. Not fate?
“Girls want to be friends with me, but nothing more. It's very frustrating, I feel inferior. Why is this happening? What should I do?"
“I have erection problems. Either she is not there at all, or she leaves during sex. I'm already anxiously waiting in advance, and suddenly I can't again. What to do?"
“My wife and I lost attraction to each other. We communicate well, but there is no sexual desire. Can we fix it?"
“I can't handle my emotions. I can instantly “explode”, say nasty things. I feel resentment hard and for a long time, I scroll through scenes from the past a thousand times in my head. I blame myself and am ashamed. Maybe I don't like myself. Can something be done about this?"
“I don't know how to defend my point of view, my interests... I'm not sure of myself. Can we fix it?"
Khalikova Maria Nikolaevna
Practical psychologist, leader of personal growth trainings, existential psychotherapist, dance movement therapist, multimodal art therapy. I work with adults and in a group. Ability to work with parents and children
In my practice, requests from clients related to the topic of relationships prevail. First of all, these are relationships in a couple, relationships with children, relationships with parents, there are also requests for relationships at work with colleagues. I think the theme of relationships runs like a red thread through our whole life. Through contact with others, we get to know and understand ourselves better. And when it becomes difficult to do it yourself, there is a need to refer this topic to psychological counseling or psychotherapy.
The good news is that today the picture of understanding the essence of psychological assistance for most people has changed. Fewer clients come who want to get advice or a "recipe for happiness", and there are more and more people who want to come to awareness themselves, understand themselves and others, discover their meanings and important needs. All of this helps them better understand how to unroll the carpet of their lives in the way they want. And this, as a psychotherapist, cannot but rejoice me, because it is not possible to live the life of another and understand what is best for him. It is only possible to help him realize what is most important for him and what kind of relationship he is looking for.
Among the most difficult topics in working with relationships, this is probably the topic of intimacy and the topic of feelings. How to meet intimacy, how to be in it, how to discover and express your feelings, how to deal with the feelings of another in contact - these are all complex and deep tasks that clients face in relationship therapy, and getting through them is not always easy. And here I see my main job - to give the client this experience, to be with him in the presence and acceptance, so that then the person can take it into his real life.
Among the requests for psychological assistance to children, clients also have a lot of awareness. Now, parents, bringing their child to counseling, are increasingly asking "what's the matter with me? how should we change our relationship with the child so that it becomes easier?". And there are fewer and fewer of those that come with the message "my child is bad, but everything is fine with me, so I was able to detect it" or "my child is broken, please fix it, you are an expert." Parents realize that perhaps they somehow built a relationship with their child in a wrong way, or incorrectly built a strategy for his upbringing. But while it is still difficult for them to share responsibility with the child for their joint relationship, there is no understanding how a parent can really "help the child become an adult", gradually helping him grow psychologically and turn more and more to his own supports. And it is still difficult for parents to understand that often psychological problems child is a reflection of the problems of the entire family system. And a child can take on a lot of things from the family and help the family to experience it in this way.
Among the requests from parents are the difficulties of adolescence, the child's loss of interest in school, study, life, difficulties in relationships with brothers and sisters, help the child cope with the divorce of his parents. And what is especially inspiring is that requests related to symptoms began to appear. This suggests that the majority of parents change their attitude towards diseases, the understanding comes that the psyche and body are not two separately existing substances, but closely related natural givens, and the treatment of the soul helps to heal the body and vice versa.
Borisenkova Polina Alexandrovna
Psychologist-consultant, coach, I work with adults, both face-to-face and online consultations are possible, I conduct coaching games
Most often, clients start a conversation with the words: "I have a hard time stating what I want" or "It's hard for me to understand what my difficulties are." Since I work in the field of professional self-determination, my goal is to help move from these formulations to a discussion of specific tasks: changing jobs, searching for new activities, options for self-realization, opportunities career development etc. But initially people can come with requests such as:
1. I don't know which direction to go next
2. I don't enjoy what I do
3. I understand that I am not developing in this place, although the objective conditions suit
4. I want to change activities
5. Feel like I'm doing something wrong
6. All my life I go with the flow
Loginova Olga Iosifovna
Family psychologist, specialist in Ericksonian hypnosis and Ericksonian therapy, art therapist. Author of the book: Loginova O.I. Art therapy. Therapeutic Drawing (2019). Author of metaphorical maps: "Metaphorical Photomaps in Family Counseling. Manual" (2015) and "The Magical World of Associations. Metaphorical Maps. Manual" (2017)
"How often there are fears before the first visit to a psychologist.
"Won't I look ridiculous, stupid in front of a psychologist or psychotherapist? Is there something wrong with me if I can't cope with my problem?" These are the thoughts that people often have when they first turn to a psychologist.
And, of course, just because people do not turn to a psychologist.
At the first consultation, there are seemingly very simple requests. It's like checking yourself, a psychologist. Determining for yourself whether you like or dislike the psychologist. Can he be trusted or not, can a psychologist understand if he sympathizes, etc. And as trust develops, the questions become more frank and the requests more profound. Only then does the true deep work begin.
What questions come to the psychologist. I can only rely on my own experience as a practicing family psychologist.
At the forefront are issues related to family relationships ( cheating partner / partner). And the question is: "Why did he do this? How can I trust him after that? I loved him so much, we have been together for 10-20 years."
"We have tomorrow divorce help save the marriage. "Unfortunately, it is difficult to do something already in this situation. The only thing, if the spouses have common children, is to help them remain at least friends, not enemies.
The next group of requests is constant conflicts in the family, a problem with relatives (mother-in-law, mother-in-law, brothers and sisters).
Jealousy- these are, perhaps, frequent requests in my practice.
The one who is jealous and who is jealous also suffers.
One of the frequently asked questions is with alcoholism of someone close to you.
Here you can talk about the co-dependent relationship between the person who came to the consultation and the drinking person.
Frequently asked questions related to loneliness, the loss of the meaning of life, the difficulty of interacting with other people, the inability to find your soul mate.
And very often they treat their fears, anxiety, inability to relax.
Of course, there are many other issues that have to be discussed with clients, they can be very unusual, to understand their past, what happened in early childhood, where psychosomatic manifestations come from.
Someone wants to be in a state of hypnotic sleep, etc.
Not all questions have answers, not everything can be resolved for a number of reasons, and sometimes you have to refuse a person, because. I, as a psychologist, do not do this, sometimes I have to gently suggest that a person visit a psychiatrist.
But in any case, for a person who has visited a psychologist, a psychotherapist is already important step on the way to finding the best solutions, to finding your own internal resources, this is a step towards personal growth, this is a new round in your own development.
Afitsinsky Alexey Mikhailovich
Psychologist, teacher of psychology.
The modern rhythm of life is a kind of mass race with obstacles, a person is constantly told: “must” and “should”, standard set: success (career), beauty (sexuality), fame - these are the behavioral attitudes of young people in recent years, otherwise why would they strive to become such with such persistence ?! Everything is presented as if without this a person ceases to be a full-fledged person, to be himself, just himself - it means to be not fashionable, not successful, not attractive! The main goal is to get on TV, no matter in what capacity: to sing, play, dance - the main thing is to get in, and the rest is a matter of technique. Real life is arranged differently, and this is where the tragedy of the majority begins, when a young man or girl grows up, changes, while his inner world remains at the same level (fame is earned over the years, not one day). As a result, there is a conflict between internal and external, you can deceive yourself, but never a mirror! Interest in you is gradually falling, yesterday's fans have grown!
Preobrazhenskaya Maria Sergeevna
Individual and group work with dependents and co-dependents in a solution-oriented approach; narrative practitioner, art therapist.
And what should I do now?
Kudryashova Alla Albertovna
Psychologist. analytical orientation. Resolution of life problems. Questions of psychology. Support. Adaptation. Depressive conditions: chronic fatigue, boredom, loss of meaning in life; Loneliness and search for a partner; Having learned the essence of our nature, the truth of ourselves, we can be realized.
Questions, problems with which they addressed and address to me are very, very different. Often it is discomfort, a misunderstanding of what is happening, despite efforts to be happy. The desire to find their place in life, to establish relationships with loved ones. They come - who are tired of outbursts of anger, insomnia, depressive states. They come - for whom trials and injuries have remained an undivided burden. Who wants to grow up emotionally. Live separation with parents. Just someone who feels unhappy, despite material wealth. And yet, perhaps, people come to me who want to feel alive.
The client's request is what the client wants to get as a result, his task, which he must formulate as a goal.
The first thing that a counseling psychologist faces is the lack of requests. People come with complaints, not requests.
Of course, there are exceptions. Business people who come to coaching often come with very competent and thoughtful requests. But housewives and young girls with personal questions often come with vague complaints and inadequate requests. It is easier for them to worry than to think and precisely formulate their request. "I feel bad, help!" "I have such problems ..." and "What should I do?" - these are not requests, but a scam for pity. Answering the question "What should I do?" without understanding what the client really wants is not worth it. "What's wrong with you is understandable. What you don't want is heard. What do you want?" - As a rule, general words are heard, often in negative formulations (get rid of, stop), but this is already a step forward.
For example. “What did I understand from your letter? You have many problems: you are lonely, you are angry with your parents, and at the same time you are reasonable and energetic. Your letter is long, but I did not understand the main thing in it: what do you want, what tasks do you set. If you want to work - come up with, guess, define what you want. Please write me one, two, three of your goals. And I'll tell you which of them I will work with. "
At this stage, the main task of the consultant is to translate the client's complaints into his goals and objectives.
Not every request you need to work with. Sometimes it is necessary to make sure that the client came to you exactly with what he says, and not with some other, extraneous goals for psychological counseling. Maybe he just hits on you? Another not uncommon variant of an "empty" request is when the client invents a problem that doesn't really exist.
Often this is a conversation about fears. Be sure to specify how often she has a fear that worries her, what it specifically expresses itself and what real concerns it brings. If it turns out that this is a fear of heights, which occurs every few years when a girl approaches a precipice on a mountain, then, apparently, it is cheaper for a girl not to approach the abyss’s edge than to work on this topic with a consultant for money.
Who should formulate the client's request? - It would seem a strange question, since it seems to be obvious: the client himself must determine and formulate his request. This is his life, this is bad for him, he knows what he needs. However, not all so simple. The usual situation of the beginning of a consultation is the absence of a clear request. The client is ready to describe his problem over and over again (problems after problems) and look at the consultant with plaintive eyes in the hope that he understood everything and will tell him what his request is. Option - waiting for treatment ... Here, a mistake can be both formulating a request for the client, and the lack of assistance to the client in choosing and formulating his request.
If the client is too lazy to think and wants the consultant to work for him: makes unhappy eyes and plays the position of the Victim, it is not worth doing the work for him to formulate his request, it is not worth reinforcing his bad habit of feeling sorry for himself and exploiting others. Here it is good to insist that the client defines his request himself. He talks about his problems over and over again, you listen calmly over and over again and ask: "I see. What do you want?" Answering the question "What should I do?" without understanding what the client really wants is not worth it. To the question "What should I do" the simplest answer is the question: "What do you want?"
Sometimes you can help a little, but the forms and sizes of help here are varied, from the ironic "Do you want to talk about it?" "Do you want to be terrified with me?" to more constructive: "You want me to do for you - what?" or "What will be the real result of our consultation for you?"
Have patience, don't expect to always get reasonable answers to this. And don't be misled by the wording: "I want to change the situation, I don't know how." “There are several solutions – I can’t choose.” “I know what I want to do, but I can’t decide on the first step” - options for psychotherapeutic response.
Don't be fooled: this continues to be a scam for pity. Listen: these are negative formulations, there is only a complaint about the problem, but there is no setting of any specific goal. And the client is waiting for you to do his job for him.
If the client is trying, honestly looking for a solution to the problem, but he lacks the experience and qualifications to analyze his situation correctly in order to correctly formulate the problem and set the task, it is quite possible to help him by once offering him certain formulations of his possible goals, and when - having completely decided for him what his problem is, what he needs to strive for now, what tasks to set and what exactly should be done now. An experienced consultant solves such questions independently.
A common situation is when the client himself does not know what to complain about, because he is ready to complain about everything. It's even harder if it's family counseling, and the spouses are dumping problem after problem on the counselor. In this situation, if the client gives us, in fact, several problems to choose from, it is up to the consultant to determine what should be done. Guidelines for selection: what will the consultant cope with (do not take on tasks that you don’t know how to solve), what will the client cope with (take the easiest task for the client), where the result will be more obvious (close and observable, which can be controlled and the fact which you can refer to later).
It should be taken into account that in many cases the client formulates his request and goal based on the myths of popular psychological literature: in the case of bad relations in the team, he may be convinced that the whole point is in the manipulation of others, and accordingly sets the task of learning to resist manipulation, not noticing how conflicting with his own communication. Or, in another situation, behind a situation of uncertainty, the girl immediately sees the problem of the lack of parental love in her childhood and asks to teach her to love herself, since she did not have enough parental love in her childhood. In these cases, it is not constructive to follow the path of a client's request; in such cases, the consultation task is formulated by the consultant, as a person more competent in such situations.
Just like a doctor decides how to treat you properly. If your stomach hurts, one or another direction of treatment after the examination should be determined by a specialist: he is a specialist, he knows better.
As a rule, requests such as: "It is important for me to understand what I want", "Why does this happen to me all the time?", "I just want to understand the situation", or "I don't understand why he does this!" More productive are formulations that are not intelligible, not phenomenological, but effective, behavioral: "Help me decide which institute to enter", "I want to learn how to build long-term relationships with worthy men", "I want to draw conclusions on how I should behave in such a future -some situations", "What position should I take regarding my young man, if I have such and such plans for him, and he took the following position ..."
As with the formulation of any goal, the most important points in the formulation of the request are usually the positivity of the formulation, specificity and responsibility. The faster the consultant will transfer the client from the position of the Victim to the position of the Author, will help to formulate in one way or another specific task advice, the more successfully the whole thing will go on.
The corporate identity of the company consists of many details. Here it is very important to pay attention to the little things, which sometimes play a big role in shaping the image of the company, positive evaluation from clients and consumers. Elements that stand out from the general style are extremely eye-catching and make customers wonder if this company is really professional and qualified in its field, since it allows itself such inadmissible oversights?
Calendar or gadget?
There are a large number of varieties of corporate souvenirs. It can be T-shirts and caps, dishes and jewelry, and much, much more. But calendars can be called the most functional souvenirs. More recently, corporations ordered a complete set of corporate souvenirs.
Its main part was made up of calendars of all kinds: wall, table, tear-off, quarterly, pocket. They could meet the needs of any client. Development of the concept of the calendar - come up with a unique design for each department and area of activity. For the accounting department - quarterly, for busy office managers - desktop and flip, for clients - a nice souvenir in the form of a pocket calendar.
Now, managers are trying not to include this kind of printing in the company's expenses. In most cases, only one or two varieties of calendars are printed. And this is explained by the fact that calendars as such are no longer in vogue. That everyone now has an electronic gadget with them, in which it is much more convenient to find the right date or leave a reminder of an important event.
Calendars with a logo are still on the crest of the wave!
But this is far from true. Corporate calendars are still one of the most popular types of souvenirs. A high-quality and well-thought-out calendar will look great on the wall in the office of your business partners. Along with other souvenirs, it will serve as an excellent decoration for your booth at various professional exhibitions, not to mention the fact that such a souvenir will help win the sympathy of customers. No one can resist the charm of thoughtful little things, the purpose of which is to gain trust and create a positive image of the company.
As a freelancer, each of us has a love or hate relationship with our clients. Of course, without them, we would be left without a single penny, but at times they can make our work unbearably difficult.
How do we deal with clients who don't pay us, take up all of their time, and make our job more difficult than it needs to be?
Most freelance clients are very friendly people, however, sooner or later there comes a time when you have to face the very client who can easily hurt your business if you let him. Knowing how to deal with these unmanageable clients will help you avoid potentially dangerous situations.
Here is a list of the six most dangerous clients for your business. Have you worked with any of them?
1. Indecisive CUSTOMER
Indecisive clients constantly change their minds about the project and tasks. Unforeseen clients change their minds partly through the project. They add new features and expect you to jump through fire hoops like a trained dog to get the job done. Such a client expects you to abandon what you have already done and start doing the project from the very beginning, adhering to the originally set deadlines. Back to sketching and creating new concepts.
Here's how to protect yourself:
- Set your own project timeline from the outset, especially allowing time for additional tasks or potential changes. Remember that in reality, very often a project takes longer to complete than you initially thought.
- Work through every detail before starting a project. Create an agreement that specifies exactly what the customer can expect from the extra time they are paying for.
- In your contract, specify the number of corrections and the additional fee for any urgency, cancellation or additional requests from the client.
2. WAITING CUSTOMER
Have you ever worked with a client who wanted a Bugatti Veyron with a budget LADA Kalina?
We are freelancers, not subsidiary Roman Abramovich!
Perhaps everyone likes it within the budget, and most importantly, that the price is reasonable for both parties, both for the client and for the contractor. But, if the client expects you to "sing and dance" for relatively little money, you can say "No". You must say "No". Unless you are planning to advertise your services in such a way to get more returns or make new connections, or are not going to make some kind of charitable contribution to the development of an organization, then your services should be paid, one way or another.
Advice: Discuss the budget and payment agreement with the client first. If you allow your collaboration to develop before you talk about the budget, then you will be more likely to work at a rate significantly lower than you would like to receive. Beware of clients who do not openly discuss rates.
3. HARRY CUSTOMER
This is a client who took one web design course back in university and thinks that as a designer you are not doing the job right. Or is it a client who will never be satisfied with your work because they want the results of a company with millions of dollars in revenue, and this is on their very tight budget.
How do you deal with these clients? Be patient and don't take it personally. Sometimes people are not confident in themselves and they need to inflate their ego in order to feel better, to raise their conceit. Do your best work and try to shield yourself from their negativity once you've completed the project.
Advice: If you are unsure about the quality of your services, then your customers will be unsure about them as well. You do not have to be at the top of the TOP in your field in order to provide the client with an excellent and high-quality product. Be confident in your level of knowledge and you will attract more valuable customers who will appreciate you and pay accordingly.
4. PERSISTENT CUSTOMER
Early in my freelance career, I had a client who wanted me to work on his content, even though the project was outside of my comfort zone. After studying the topic of work, I decided that the project was not suitable for me, because I did not have knowledge in this field of activity, and the client needed an expert in this matter. Moreover, he insisted that I work with him, so I had to agree. I ended up spending hours negotiating, putting all the details of the project together and then researching the industry so I could get familiar with what I would be working on. As soon as the project started, I realized that the client had changed his mind and he no longer wanted me to write for him.
Here are some useful lessons to learn from working with such a client:
- If you feel that the job is beyond your skills, do not under any circumstances take it. No money is worth it: dissatisfied customer in the end, it will create a lot of problems for you in the end, and also pretty rattle your nerves.
- You are a freelancer - self-employed, not working in any company, so you always have the right to refuse work if it does not meet your needs.
TIPS
- Always charge upfront, especially when it comes to extensive research. And let its percentage entirely depend on the project itself: the larger the project and the time required for research, the higher the percentage of prepayment.
- Gather as many details about the project as possible beforehand. Have your clients fill out questionnaires and sign an agreement so both parties know what needs to be done before you start.
- If you see an attractive project (in terms of budget), do not let the banknotes influence your decision. Since you can't provide a client with quality work, it's better to leave it for someone else than to get yourself in trouble and bad reviews.
- Establish connections with specialists from different fields, to whom you can refer the client in case the project is beyond your knowledge. Trust me, people will also send you their client when the project is a better fit for someone with your skill set.
5. SOCIOUS CUSTOMER
This client will email you in the morning and, during project negotiations, tell you everything from his dog's name to where he plans to spend his family vacation.
Of course, some projects require more communication with clients than others, but it's important to set a time frame for your communication before starting a project.
- Add your time to the fee. You don't have to spend working time to discuss what is irrelevant to the project. You can devote this time to working on projects.
- If you feel that the client is already beginning to take valuable time from you in the process of work, do not hesitate to compensate for this by increasing the cost of the project.
- Limit the communication to a time frame or write in the contract an additional cost per hour of work outside the budget. In the end, discussing the project and communicating with the client is also work.
Perhaps you have a different opinion about free communication with clients, believing that this helps them feel more comfortable and better disposed towards you. Still, if you feel that clients are taking up more time, feel free to say that you are busy and return to the discussion as soon as you are free. Teach your clients to respect your schedule just as much as you respect them.
6. MAGIC CLIENT
Otherwise, you cannot call such a client a “magician”, because he disappears as soon as it comes to payment. No connection! No correspondence! No requests for further work or changes! There are no explanations!
You spend hours developing a client site or writing content, and the communication goes great. But once you request payment...
- The client is missing and unavailable
- The client talks about family problems and tries to delay payment for work
- The client begins to justify or excuse himself, hoping that in the end you will get tired of demanding payment
I had one client who paid for part of the service and owed some more. I sent a letter to e-mail, and received a promise that within a week everything would be paid. It's been a week and I still haven't received anything. After numerous letters, the client began to talk about the difficulties he encountered on this moment. I sympathized and said that I would expect payment. After a longer time, I threatened to take further action, badly damaging my reputation. In the end, after a couple of days, I still received my money.
Even with a contract, it is difficult to deal with payment issues. Most of the clients are out of your country of residence, and trying to get your money out of them is more of a headache than it's worth, especially if you're dealing with a small amount of money. If the situation gets out of hand, threaten to complain about their business, whether in in social networks or in any other media space, but do this only in extreme cases.
Everything needs to be assessed on an individual basis. For example, you have a client with whom you have been working fruitfully for a long time, but at some point he had difficulties and he cannot pay you for the work at the moment. Don't escalate the situation or escalate it: the client will soon settle their problems and pay, and you may lose a stable and good business relationship.
Here are some tips:
- Maintain constant communication throughout the project
- If possible, communicate by voice: it is more difficult for customers to say “no” in live communication
- Always take a deposit
PREPARE FOR THE WORST
The best way to prevent working with such clients is to learn from your mistakes and prepare for difficult clients within your contracts.
Your contract must include:
- Project scope
- Deadlines and requirements
- Detailed description of your services
- Number of changes and payment for additional work
- Conditions that include advance payments, project cancellation fees, etc.
Don't be afraid to abandon the project if something goes wrong. Over time, you will develop an instinct for clients, and you will begin to understand who is in front of you, even before entering into a contract. Remember that you are also "hiring" the client. In the beginning, you may need money and you will agree to any projects, but once you start to develop and grow, you will start choosing your clients the same way they chose you.
Your customer is your customer and your goal is to please them. Do everything in your power to give them best work. If you feel that the project is failing, let the client know that your working relationship is not beneficial for both parties. You may not make money, but you will save yours. nervous system from the negative.
Many hotels strive to surprise and please regular customers, for example, by placing them in a higher-class room without additional fee. Agree, it's nice to be in a large apartment instead of a booked standard room. This is how hotels reward loyal customers and increase their loyalty.
Your best customers deserve the same treatment. Perhaps your company has loyalty programs. If you add an email campaign thanking your valued customers to it, you will get two significant benefits at once.
- You will be able to easily use data and automation to communicate to customers that you appreciate them and are grateful for their loyalty.
- This, in turn, will help retain customers and often make them even more valuable.
How to find and encourage the best clients
Email campaign for best clients usually includes three elements:
- The parameters by which you identify valuable customers.
- A sincere thank you letter in which you give the client something of value.
- Integrated automated system A that sends messages if the client matches the given parameters.
One approach is to constantly use the RFM (Retirement, Frequency, Money) model in real time. RFM can help you identify your top customers based on how long ago, how often they shopped, and how much they spent certain period. Integrate this model into your email program to automatically find valuable leads.
Thank you in different ways
Many companies delight their best customers with more valuable bonuses than in a welcome, congratulatory or reactivation campaign.
For example, one firm sends customers a $50 discount code on any purchase over $50. Such gifts seem quite expensive. But at the same time, they stimulate sales of more expensive products.
However, thank you messages don't have to include discounts. What do your customers value? Some emails can stimulate sales, but who would refuse gifts. Here are some ideas:
- Opportunity to purchase sports equipment and other seasonal goods before others.
- Early ticket sales, VIP access or free upgraded seats.
- Access to beta testing of new programs or video games.
- Exclusive or early access to premium content.
- Personal meetings with the first persons of the company.
- Enough bonuses to increase the level of the client in your loyalty program.
- A signed book by the main lecturer at your webinar.
- Add a thank you note to the subject line. Mention a gift. Do a test to find out which strategy will increase conversions: directly announce the gift or just hint about it.
- Make the letter personal and casual. Address the client by name, and at the end put the signature of one of the company's leaders. If appropriate, include a photo of the leader. Write as if you are addressing a friend, use the words "I", "we", "you".
- Showcase your brand. The letter should reflect your corporate culture through appropriate humor, language and images.
- Experiment with design. Let the letter look like a thank you card, not your usual message. Test different options to choose the best one.
- Use dynamic content. Add dynamic modules that suggest products to the customer based on their recent or typical purchases.
These tips will help you launch your own program that will surprise and delight your customers and ensure their loyalty for years to come.