Ambivalence, frustration, rigidity - if you want to express your thoughts not at the level of a fifth grader, you will have to understand the meaning of these words. Katya Shpachuk explains everything in an accessible and understandable way, and visual gifs help her in this.
1. frustration
Almost everyone experienced a feeling of unfulfillment, encountered obstacles on the way to achieving goals, which became an unbearable burden and the reason for anything reluctant. So this is what frustration is. When everything is boring and nothing works.
But you should not take this state of affairs with hostility. The main way to overcome frustration is to recognize the moment, accept it, and be tolerant. The state of dissatisfaction, mental tension mobilize the strength of a person to deal with a new challenge.
2. procrastination
- So, from tomorrow I'm going on a diet! No, better Monday.
I'll finish it later when I'm in the mood. There is still time.
- Oh, I'll write tomorrow. Will not go anywhere.
Familiar? This is procrastination, that is, postponing things for later.
A painful state when you need and don't want to.
It is accompanied by tormenting oneself for not completing the task. This is the main difference from laziness. Laziness is an indifferent state, procrastination is an emotional state. At the same time, a person finds pretexts, classes are much more interesting than doing a specific job.
In fact, the process is normal and inherent in most people. But don't overuse it. The main way to avoid it is motivation and proper prioritization. This is where time management comes in.
3. Introspection
In other words, self-observation. A method by which a person examines his or her own psychological tendencies or processes. Descartes was the first to use introspection, studying his own spiritual nature.
Despite the popularity of the method in the 19th century, introspection is considered a subjective, idealistic, even unscientific form of psychology.
4. Behaviorism
Behaviorism is a direction in psychology, which is based not on consciousness, but on behavior. Human response to an external stimulus. Movement, facial expressions, gestures - in short, all external signs have become the subject of study of behaviorists.
The founder of the method, American John Watson, suggested that with the help of careful observation, it is possible to predict, change or form proper behavior.
There have been many experiments that have examined human behavior. But the most famous was the following.
In 1971, Philip Zimbardo conducted an unprecedented psychological experiment called the Stanford Prison Experiment. Absolutely healthy, mentally stable young people were placed in a conditional prison. The students were divided into two groups and assigned tasks: some had to play the role of guards, others were prisoners. Sadistic tendencies began to appear in the student guards, while the prisoners were morally depressed and resigned to their fate. After 6 days the experiment was terminated (instead of two weeks). During the course it was brought that the situation affects the behavior of a person more than his internal features.
5. Ambivalence
Many writers of psychological thrillers are familiar with this concept. So, “ambivalence” is an ambivalent attitude towards something. Moreover, this relationship is absolutely polar. For example, love and hatred, sympathy and antipathy, pleasure and displeasure that a person experiences at the same time and in relation to something (someone) alone. The term was introduced by E. Bleiler, who considered ambivalence to be one of the signs of schizophrenia.
According to Freud, "ambivalence" takes on a slightly different meaning. It is the presence of opposing deep motives, which are based on the attraction to life and death.
6. insight
Translated from English, “insight” is insight, insight, insight, sudden finding of a solution, and so on.
There is a task, the task needs to be solved, sometimes it is simple, sometimes it is difficult, sometimes it is solved quickly, sometimes it takes time. Usually, in complex, time-consuming, at first glance overwhelming tasks comes insight - insight. Something non-standard, sudden, new. Along with insight, the previously laid down nature of action or thinking changes.
7. Rigidity
In psychology, “rigidity” is understood as a person’s unwillingness to act according to plan, fear of unforeseen circumstances. “Rigidity” also includes the unwillingness to give up habits and attitudes, from the old, in favor of the new, and so on.
A rigid person is a hostage to stereotypes, ideas that are not created independently, but taken from reliable sources. They are specific, pedantic, they are annoyed by uncertainty and carelessness. Rigid thinking is banal, stamped, uninteresting.
8. Conformism and non-conformism
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to stop and reflect" Mark Twain wrote. Conformism - key concept social psychology. Expressed in a change in behavior under the real or imagined influence of others.
Why is this happening? Because people are afraid when it's not like everyone else. This is getting out of your comfort zone. It is the fear of not being liked, of looking stupid, of being out of the masses.
Conformist – a person who changes his mind, beliefs, attitudes, in favor of the society in which he is.
Nonconformist - a concept opposite to the previous one, that is, a person who defends an opinion that differs from the majority.
9. Catharsis
From ancient Greek, the word "katharsis" means "purification", most often from guilt. The process of a long experience, excitement, which at the peak of development turns into liberation, something maximally positive. It is common for a person to worry for various reasons, from the thought of the iron not being turned off to the loss of a loved one. Here we can talk about domestic catharsis. There is a problem that reaches its peak, a person suffers, but he cannot suffer forever. The problem begins to move away, anger goes away (who has what), there comes a moment of forgiveness or awareness.
Today's article I again devote to the analysis of the problem "fight against old age". The reason for this was a very peculiar translated note by Evgenia Efimova entitled "Mathematicians: it is impossible to stop aging", published on November 2 on the website Vesti.ru.
Unfortunately, Vera Russian journalists in what West exists the science, which deals with serious issues (fundamental science), is based on nothing but false Western propaganda and no less false advertising, which has long been used to extort money from gullible simpletons.
Brigitte Bardot - 81 years old
AT "fundamental science" We are in a very bad place today. "Scientists" still do not really know anything about the Cosmos, or about the real structure of our planet; nor about the real essence of "living matter"; nor about the reasons for its formation; nor about the emergence of Man; nor about the emergence of Reason. On all these main questions of being, our "fundamental science" is dominated by total ignorance.
Therefore, in order to understand what is "old age" in fact, whether it can be defeated or not, and whether we need to do this, we will have to first familiarize ourselves with a very brief information about the real structure of our planet and man, i.e. us with you.
First and still the only scientist who told people about how our planet actually works; what "living matter" in fact; how it fundamentally differs from "non-living matter"; how Man and other living beings, including plants, are arranged; what are the main processes taking place in the human physical body; is Nikolay Viktorovich Levashov!
He wrote several revolutionary monographs and many extremely informative popular science articles in which he presented to mankind the real scientific Basis, which will allow you to constantly adhere to the right direction in science, and to conduct Scientific research, which will give real results, and not primitive chatter in the stupid press!
He gave us brief, initial descriptions of the main real natural processes taking place in the Cosmos, on our planet and in living organisms living on Earth. This information is kind of "Primer" for "basic science" through which she can revive and turn her research in the right direction.
Goldie Hawn - 70 years old
Where do we really live?
In order to understand how a Man works, and what is "aging" its physical body, we will have to make a short review of the actual structure of our planet, since, I hope, no one will object to the fact that habitat has a huge impact on those who live in it.
The structure and composition of the biosphere of any planet is determined primarily by the qualitative characteristics of the planet on which this biosphere has grown. "Scientists" today unanimously claim that our planet was formed from " protoplanetary disk, disk-shaped mass of gas, dust left over from the formation of the Sun."
In reality, planets, like everything else in the Cosmos, a person and everything living and non-living on Earth, including, are formed from the so-called. "first matter", which interact with each other to one degree or another (merge) in space inhomogeneities suitable for this (more about these natural processes can be found in the books Nikolai Levashov or - a simplified version - in the article “Science does not want to know. Part 4. How God Created the Earth”).
Our planet was also formed, thanks to the merger of several primary matters into a single whole. But it happened in stages. First, in heterogeneity (curvature), the spaces merged two primary matter, forming sphere from new matter. Nikolai Levashov gave the name to such new matters, formed from merged primary matters. hybrid materials.
Then, thanks to the qualitative characteristics that still exist in heterogeneity, to the first two primary matters was added third. She merged with them and formed another area- already from the three merged primary matters. This sphere was already smaller than the previous one. These non-hollow spheres of hybrid matter do not mix with each other and exist, relatively speaking, "in parallel", due to the fact that they have almost no common qualities.
Then, in the same heterogeneity, they merged four primary matter, and another sphere was formed from the new hybrid matter. Then another one was added - from 5 6 primal matter. Then another one from 7 primal matter. This last sphere, formed from seven primary matter, we call the planet Earth. In fact, our planet is indivisible totality several described non-hollow material spheres nested one inside the other.
It means that at every point in space, occupied by our physically dense Earth, on which we live, simultaneously with physical matter, there are other hybrid matters of the "subtle spheres" of the planet, which are now called ethereal, astral and mental spheres (hereinafter, illustrations from the book by Nikolai Levashov are used).
Symbols in the figure
1. Physically dense sphere.
2. Etheric realm.
3. Astral sphere.
4. First mental sphere.
5. The second mental sphere.
6. Third mental sphere.
BUT,B,FROM,D,E,F,G- symbols of primary matters merged into hybrid matters, from which 6 material spheres of our planet Earth are formed.
The fact that at every point in space, simultaneously with physical matter, there are other "subtle" matters, means that "living" matter - Life– also exists on the “thin spheres” of the planet. How it all works, I will tell below.
Living matter - Life
First of all, you need to know that the formation of "living" matter is a natural process inevitably occurring on any planet, but on which the necessary and sufficient conditions for this appear! In this regard, you need to understand that our Universe is very densely populated. There are billions of civilizations in our galaxy alone...
The main difference between "living matter" from “non-living” is that the bodies of living organisms are more complex due to the fact that they consist not only of physical bodies, but also of one or more so-called. "subtle" bodies created at the corresponding "subtle" levels of our planet. These "subtle" bodies are connected and interact with each other and with the physical body by the constant flow of primary matter. And actually life and is process overflows of primary matter from the physical body into the "subtle" and back.
The simplest living organisms are viruses, which have only physical and essential body. The circulation of primary matter between these bodies ensures all the basic vital functions (life process) of the physical body.
This is the most important, fundamental difference "living matter" from non-living. "Inanimate Matter""Thin bodies" does not have, including organic matter. It is arranged much more simply and has no natural possibilities for evolutionary changes.
All this applies to the Human as well. And in order to understand what "old age" in fact, and whether it is possible to deal with it in any way, it is necessary to devote a few minutes to studying the real structure of the Human.
Jane Fonda - 78 years old
What is a "human" really?
In fact, a person is not arranged at all in the way that our “scientists”, “doctors” and other orthodox “specialists” believe. In real Human represents system from several so-called. "thin" bodies that can only exist together. Such a system is called Essence, Soul, "Higher Self", Lotus and other, even more exotic names, depending on the level of fantasy development of the people who invented them.
This is how this very Soul looks schematically. In this drawing, Nikolai Levashov showed well that the ethereal body of the Essence (2) is formed from one primary matter G and is the thinnest. But the fourth mental body of the Essence (7) is formed six primal matter B- G and is the "thickest" of the "thin". The physical body of a Human (1) is formed from seven primal matter A- G .
Symbols in the figure
1. Physical body.
2. ethereal body.
3. astral body.
4. First mental body.
5. Second mental body.
6. Third mental body.
7. The fourth mental body.
Essence(Man) periodically incarnates into physical bodies, which allow to provide enhanced nutrition to the “subtle” bodies, which together make up the Human itself (Essence of the Soul), and thereby significantly accelerate the development of these very “subtle” bodies. In the process of evolution development of "thin" bodies begins with the appearance of brain neurons at the corresponding level of the planet, and then the next “subtle” body gradually develops to the size of a physical body. We also call this development "spiritual development". For the duration of the incarnation, the physical body temporarily becomes a part of the Essence. It is it that provides enhanced nutrition for the rest of the material bodies of the Essence.
Essence is the standard (matrix) according to which the physical body is grown after incarnation. And Essence cells are the standard for regeneration cells of the physical body. That is why we recover from diseases, and that is why we heal all sorts of wounds and injuries quite quickly.
Essence is the main consumer of the "energy" obtained during the digestion of food absorbed by the physical body of a Human or animals. This energy in the form of primal matter is used to strengthen the nourishment of the “subtle bodies” of the Essence, which, in fact, is the reason for the incarnation of the Soul into physical bodies.
Essence(a system of "thin" bodies) is the real receptacle of all memory a person - short-term, long-term, etc. "genetic", containing information about all previous incarnations of each individual.
Essence also has a brain, and it is in the brain at the “thin” level that the process of thinking takes place! Those. our Intelligence lives precisely in the “subtle” bodies of the Essence. BUT nervous system the physical body is only a "coordination device" of the Essence with our physically dense world.
I repeat: talking about Man must be taken into account in the first place set of "subtle bodies", to which a physically dense body periodically joins, which we all, due to the lack of real knowledge, still call human. And, accordingly, in order to understand what is "old age" the physical body of a Human, in fact, you need to take a closer look process of life, i.e. the processes of circulation of primary matter between the material bodies of the Essence on different levels planets.
How the human body works
Nikolai Levashov in 1994, briefly but interestingly described this process in his outstanding book "The Last Appeal to Humanity ...", in the second chapter entitled "The Emergence of Life on Earth." In order for you to appreciate at least level presentation of the material by Nikolai Levashov, I will briefly and simply state here the description of the process of functioning of a cell of a multicellular organism. The rest of the cells act almost identically.
To understand why cells function this way and not otherwise, one must have at least a rough idea of how they “came to such a life,” that is, to have an idea of the process of their development.
In the process of cell evolution, starting from the simplest "living matter" on physical and ethereal levels, changes in the structure of the cell gradually lead to the appearance of new qualitative characteristics in it. In the cell, gradually, by flowing the primary matter to new level, is formed astral body of two primary matters G and F , and even later - first mental body of three primary matters G , F, E .
I note that the speed of circulation of primary matter between various bodies Essences are different, for certain reasons. And one of the reasons is a different degree of microspace curvature, which is created by a physical cell at different levels of the planet.
The minimum curvature of microspace is created by a physical cell on ethereal level, the maximum - at the first mental level, due to the presence of her etheric, astral and first mental bodies, which explains different circulation speeds primary matter between levels (3 primary matter fall on the mental level, 2 on the astral level, and 1 on the etheric level). And this, in turn, determines the qualitative difference between cells that have a different number of accumulated "thin" bodies, which is manifested in the difference in their properties and functions.
Symbols in the figure
1. Physically dense cell.
2. The etheric body of the cell.
3. The astral body of the cell.
4.
V 1; V 2; V 3; V 4
This figure conditionally shows the evolutionary state of the cell, when it has a physically dense, ethereal, astral and first mental body, during the period of presence harmony between all these levels. A healthy young cell is harmonious at all its levels. In other words, rate of evolutionary development the physical, etheric, astral and mental bodies of the cells are identical to each other. The primary matter circulate freely between the levels of the cell, carrying out the process of vital activity, and the cell can perform its functions with maximum activity.
What is "old age" really
Now, finally, there is an opportunity to clearly and logically explain what “old age” really is. "Old age" is a violation of the harmonious functioning of the cell. Let me remind you that the term "cell" should be understood as an inseparable combination of its physical and "subtle" bodies (in this case- etheric, astral and first mental). Any multicellular organism consists of cells, so what we will now consider using the example of a single cell will be true for whole body.
Today, a physically dense cell of a multicellular organism is constantly under the influence of environment. In the process of vital activity, part of the resulting poisons does not have time to be removed beyond its limits, and this leads to the fact that the physical cell becomes more and more inertial (does not have time to do everything that is needed), and its structure is partially destroyed.
It leads to change parameters of the microcosm of the cell (the space surrounding the cell), therefore the channel between the physical and the first mental plane of the cell narrows, and the flow of primary matter to this level of the cell stops - to the first mental body of the cell from its physical body.
Symbols in the figure
1. Physically dense cell.
2. The etheric body of the cell.
3. The astral body of the cell.
4. The first mental body of the cell.
V 1; V 2; V 3; V 4– evolutionary speeds, respectively, of the physical, etheric, astral and first mental bodies of the cell.
Further environmental impact on the cell and the action of toxic products of the cell's own life activity leads to the continuation of a gradual decrease in the curvature of the microcosm of the cell, and because of this, the flow of matter to astral plane of the cell(to the astral body), and it again loses some of its properties and qualities. In this case, the physical cell loses part of the intracellular water.
When the influence of external and internal environment of the cell leads to the cessation of the circulation of substances at the physical level of the cell, and the circulation of matter between the physical and ethereal levels of the cell also ceases. Physical cell death occurs.
After stopping the vital processes of the physical cell, decay phase. As the physical cell decays, the complex organic molecules that form the nucleus of the cell break down into simpler ones. This leads to the fact that the curvature of the microcosm of the cell becomes even smaller and the initial parameters of space are restored, corresponding to the physically dense sphere of the planet.
By the way! After the collapse(death) of a physically dense cell, "thin" bodies continue to maintain their integrity and remain alive, because between them the interaction and circulation of the primary matter common to them is preserved G . Only activity of all these processes becomes a thousand times smaller. And if not external factors, negatively affecting these cell bodies, a system consisting of "thin" cell bodies - ethereal, astral and first mental - can exist without increased nutrition from the physical body for quite a long time, many thousands of years.
Michel Mercier - 77 years old
This is very short, but real explanation what is "old age" the physical body in fact, and why it now appears in living organisms. From this explanation it should be clear that in reality "old age" is a process not natural! It occurs when there is a violation of harmony in the circulation of primary matter between the physical and "subtle" bodies of a living cell and the whole organism.
And why is it so important?
“Beyond these (Riphean) mountains, on the other side of Aquilon, a happy people, called Hyperboreans, reaches a very advanced age and is glorified by wonderful legends. It is believed that there are the loops of the world and the extreme limits of the circulation of the luminaries. The sun shines there for half a year, and this is only one day when the sun does not hide from the spring equinox to the autumn equinox, the luminaries there rise only once a year at the summer solstice, and set only at the winter. This country is all in the sun, with a favorable climate and is devoid of any harmful wind. Homes for these inhabitants are groves, forests; the cult of the gods copes individuals and the whole society; strife and all sorts of diseases are unknown there. Death comes there only from satiety with life ... "
But, on the other hand, if the physical bodies of people were not periodically replaced, evolutionary changes in them would either not appear at all, or would appear very slowly and rarely. Therefore, the periodic change of physical bodies is the Essence evolutionary boon, although the sensations and emotions from the knowledge of the useful, but imminent death of the physical body, will surely be very unpleasant for us for a long time to come.
How to repair Essence
To date, Sessions are so far the only means, available everyone wishing for an urgent or permanent repair of the Essence. The need for universality and accessibility led to the fact that the power of the healing effect was set by Nikolai Viktorovich to be very small so as not to overload the majority of users, but sufficient to effectively affect distorted or damaged cells of the Essence.
This information is not officially confirmed, but it is much closer to reality than the "blizzard" that today's media everywhere brings us. And intelligent people will be able to learn a lot of useful and important things from these books.
“Here's an old grimza,” Tom Reiss thought wistfully, looking at the receding female silhouette. - Ninety-six years, and there too. I went to try on another mink coat. Now she will return, she will begin to tell how these furs were presented to her, to flirt and avoid questions. And about the case - not a word.
The New Yorker reporter was sitting in a luxurious living room drinking a damn cup of the strongest black coffee. He was bored. In Bern" to the former owner of a literary agency, and now - a childless and terribly talkative old woman with a good fortune, he was led by a long-term hunt for documents relating to a mysterious character named Kurban Said. He is Muhammad Essad Bey, he is Lev Nussimbaum. Reiss traveled around Europe , Asia and the Caucasus for the fifth year, and each new discovery plunged him into more and more amazement. One got the impression that this Said Essad bey Nussimbaum had not one, but at least five lives. A fragile Jewish boy, the son of a Baku oil millionaire; Arabic sheikh in exile, writer of adventurous novels popular in the Third Reich; failed biographer of Mussolini; assistant to Grand Duke Vladimir Kirillovich; author of the famous Azerbaijani novel "Ali and Nino"; friend of the Pasternak family and rival of Nabokov; mysterious Turk in a fez, about whom at the end of 30- x vying with each other wrote American, Czech and German newspapers ... It seemed impossible that all this was one and the same person. Nevertheless, in the course of the search, Reise became more and more convinced that this was exactly the case. At one time, the Gestapo, Trotsky and Persian intelligence were interested in Nussimbaum, and now, after almost half a century, a meticulous American, who until then could hardly find Azerbaijan on the map, became interested in him.
This unexpected investigation began with a trifle: in 1998, Tom Reiss, an energetic correspondent for The New Yorker and the future author of The Orientalist, was sent to Baku to write about the “new Baku” and the oil boom, thanks to which the night light returned to the Azerbaijani capital. life. A friend slipped him on the road "the best novel about the Caucasus of all time" - a shabby little book called "Ali and Nino", published by the American publishing house "Penguin" in 1972. Reiss had never heard the name of the author before - Kurban Said, but, having studied the back cover, he discovered, not without amazement, that the novel "Ali and Nino" had been on the list of European bestsellers for quite a long time and the reviewers of The New York Times, Life and the Washington Post. “Kurban Said is a pseudonym,” the preface stated. But who he is, no one knows. It is only known that the author is of Tatar origin and has already departed to another world. Where and under what circumstances - it is impossible to say.
"Ali and Nino" turned out to be a classic love story, only Romeo was a Muslim, and Juliet was a Christian girl, and everything happened in pre-revolutionary Baku. Drinking with Baku oligarchs and top managers oil companies, Reiss discovered that "Ali and Nino" is still considered a classic in Azerbaijan - some of his new acquaintances could quote whole chapters of the book, but no one really knew who Kurban Said was! More precisely, there were as many versions as there were people: a week later, the reporter was convinced that every second resident of Baku believes that his grandfather, or maternal uncle, wrote Ali and Nino.
One morning he bought in the lobby of the hotel an English book with the enticing title "Blood and Oil in the East", signed by Essad Bey. The book was published seventy years ago and has been reprinted many times since then. Imagine his surprise when on the cover, next to the author's name, he saw a postscript - "from the author of Ali and Nino." An explanation was found on the back: “Essad Bey, the author of this book, converted to Judaism in the late 1920s, changed his name, becoming Lev Nussimbaum, and moved to Berlin, joining the circle of German intellectuals. In the early 1930s, he moved to Vienna and published a wonderful novel "Ali and Nino" under the pseudonym Kurban Said. Trying to avoid persecution, he ended up in Italy, where in 1942 he stabbed himself in the leg and died from the wound."
A more delusional story could not have been written. Who in their right mind, going to Berlin in the late 1920s, would convert to Judaism? And why should this Essad Bey become Lev Nussimbaum, and then Kurban Said? He stabbed himself in the leg... What the hell! But what about the deceased Tatar? However, Reiss's inflamed curiosity was no longer appeased: he firmly decided to unearth where the truth was, and where the fiction was, and who this Lev-Essad-Kurban was. The idea turned into a lengthy investigation - Reiss was thrown into Georgian villages and the foothills of Armenia, on the coast of Italy and in the suburbs of Istanbul, in Berlin, Paris, Batumi, Tiflis ... He delved into the archives, talked with elderly widows of oil barons, talked with orientalists and connoisseurs of the Third Reich - and now he was sitting in the living room of Frau Teresa Mögle, the ninety-six-year-old former owner of the Austrian publishing house, who until 1945 was in charge of the affairs of Lev Nussimbaum - Kurban Said - Essad Bey.
Frau Teresa looked like a small bird of prey. Despite her age, she felt great, and her memory was as fresh as a baby's. How much did diamonds cost before and after the Anschluss, what sort of coffee did its authors prefer, how much did she donate to various funds to help children in Africa after the war ended: “You see, I have a very good heart, and, of course, I did not sympathize with this terrible Nazis. “Our writers were mostly Jews,” she said, rolling her eyes. - And they, you know, all left us when Hitler occupied Austria. That's it, without saying a word. They left them to deal with their affairs, and they themselves fled. ” “But Frau Teresa felt great,” Reiss thought. - A few more years Publishing House continued to print their books, income went to the cashier, but there was no one to send royalties. It must be assumed that the Frau did not really want to know about the fate of the refugees.
All specific questions were elegantly avoided by his interlocutor, complaining of sudden forgetfulness and old age, and Reise was about to bow politely, when suddenly the Frau casually dropped: “Have you read Kurban Said’s latest novel, The Man Who Knew Nothing About Love?” The reporter was alert: he had never even heard of such a thing. “Oh, well, still,” the Frau nodded. No one has read it but me. Said wrote it shortly before his death and sent it to his confidante, a baroness, who forwarded it to me in Vienna. Wait, I'll bring it now."
She returned carrying six large calico-bound notebooks. “They have lain with me for more than fifty years! exclaimed Frau Teresa. - I could make big money! It's something like an autobiography, his whole life is amazing, you know. But for some reason it didn't. And then I completely forgot. You can read them please. I don't think anyone else would be interested in them." With trembling hands, Reiss opened the first page. In a careless, but clear handwriting, it was written: “Kurban Said. A man who knew nothing about love. Part one". And below is the phrase: “Pain is stronger than life, stronger than death, love, loyalty, honor. In the face of death, when I have nothing more to hide, I will describe here, as honestly and without embellishment as possible, that strange life that became my fate ... "
Fourteen-year-old Leva Nussimbaum lay on the sand of the endless Persian desert and gazed thoughtfully at the stars. Dark silent night. The camels of their small caravan trembled in their sleep, and nearby, in a camping tent, snored Abram Nussimbaum, a former Baku millionaire and owner oil fields, now - a fugitive, running away with his son from the new Bolshevik government. Diamonds were hidden in the soles of specially tailored shoes, securities sewn into the lining of the jacket.
About such a life - caravans, drovers, deserts, ancient Arabic songs, chases and adventurous adventures - Leo dreamed of as a child, spending endless hours in his father's library, stuffed with Turkish, Persian, Afghan fairy tales and legends. Levushka Nussimbaum was not allowed to leave the gates: kidnappings for the purpose of ransom were too common in Baku, and who should be kidnapped if not the children of millionaires? His infrequent walks looked comical: two hefty guards ran in front, a governess, a portly German woman, Alice, rode behind on a horse. He was deprived of even a fleeting childish “joy” to break his nose, stumbling on the run - at the last moment he was always picked up by the faithful Khamzat or Badri, and the boy was usually carried up the long stairs of his father's house in his arms - just in case. So it turned out that Leo spent his childhood reading ancient manuscripts and studying languages. Often lying on the heated roof, he peered into the mirror-like expanse of the Caspian Sea, imagining distant deserts full of dangers.
Sometimes he ran away and wandered around the eastern part of the city, examining the old houses, the half-erased Arabic script on the gates, and eavesdropping on other people's conversations in the bazaar. However, Baku at the beginning of the century was least of all like an ancient eastern city: money from oil, the new blood of the world, poured into the former sleepy outpost of Azerbaijan and turned it into a shining capital. The population of the city grew faster than the population of Paris, New York or London. Swedes, Jews, Russians and Ossetians rushed here, the Nobel brothers earned their first big money here, the Rothschilds made their mark here - and everyone seemed to want to spend crazy dividends as soon as possible: they gave balls, wrote out the best opera singers, rolled up unprecedented banquets, trying to connect the wisdom of the East with the technology of the West. “Baku has become a great city! - proclaimed at social events. “Those like Baghdad, Paris and Pittsburgh, here everyone has a chance to become rich!” The new oil barons brought to Baku a piece of Europe, which they intensively got to know on their travels: one ordered a mansion in the form of an exact copy of a Gothic church (“It's so beautiful!”), The other built his own Paris Opera, there was even an attempt to recreate in Baku new Louvre. And Leva Nussimbaum spent summer after summer in Baden-Baden under the close supervision of Alice and only occasionally got out of Baku, visiting the settlements of the mysterious Mountain Jews, who could write their name with a dagger faster than Lev had time to blink.
His biography was predetermined in advance: a Russian gymnasium, private lessons, Christmas trees at the Ashurbekovs and Assadulaevs, home parties, forfeits, and in the near future - a decent position at his father's enterprises. Leva would become a profitable party - from a good family, rich, well educated ... True, a Jew, but here, in Baku, unlike St. pogroms swept through the city, but not the Jews, but the Armenians were smashed. Of course, at times it became restless, but the father somehow knew how to negotiate with everyone: much later, Lev found out that he secretly supplied the mysterious Krasin and the sinister Koba with money - just in case. Alas, this did not help: when the Reds entered the city, the Nussimbaums sat out in the attic for three days. Then their friend, the rich man Mukhtarov, was shot on the threshold of his own mansion, and Nussimbaum Sr. realized that he had to run.
The Bolsheviks then seemed an annoying, but short-lived nuisance: sooner or later it will all end, and a person with connections and money will always find a place for himself. In the Turkmen town of Kizyl-Su, my father had a small alabaster factory and some acquaintances. Its former manager became the Minister of Foreign Relations of the new, socialist, but hating the Bolsheviks and independent Turkestan. They even got along pretty well. True, the mysterious East, which Leva so dreamed of, turned out to be associated with a large number of unwashed bodies, the inability to go to the European toilet and fleas in bed. I had to sleep in the most decent building of Kizyl-Su - a local cinema. During the day, they played a “film” there, and Leva wandered the streets - chatted in excellent German with the only European in the city - a German baron who got there, and briefly met with the head of the local police, Prince Alania. It was unsettling, albeit a bit boring. The lion hung around with the prince on the pier, listening to his stories about Persian girls. And once he accidentally witnessed a tragic incident, which the Soviet press would later describe in the blackest colors. arrived another ship from Baku, and the prince, examining those descending the ladder, suddenly changed in his face. "Look who's here for us! he exclaimed. “Yes, this is the government of Soviet Azerbaijan!” Disguised commissars fled from Baku, captured by the Germans and Turks, thinking to swim to the Volga, but the captain of the ship flatly refused to change the route. I had to moor in Kizil-Su. Fate former members government decided according to the laws of war: they were arrested on the pier, and soon the news of the heroic death of twenty-six Baku commissars swept across Soviet Russia. For some reason, British intelligence resident Reginald Teague-Jones was accused of organizing the murder - on that day he was 200 miles from Kizyl-Su and had nothing to do with this case. However, Tig-Jones took the curses of the Bolsheviks more than seriously - at least two of the dead were personal friends of Lenin, so he immediately returned to the UK and changed his name to Ronald Sinclair (this helped - he survived both Lenin and Nussimbaum, and only in In 1988, after Sinclair's death, the London Times revealed his pseudonym.
Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted nothing since childhood. Rather, she was told what she wanted - in the style of that joke about "no, you're not cold, you want to eat." She was told that she wanted to make friends - and she found a couple of girlfriends, but no more. Then she was told that she wanted to study (at school, then at the university), then - that she wanted to work, be strong and independent. She studied (the stars, however, were not enough from the sky), and she also found a job (without experiencing any satisfaction from it). She was also told that she wanted to arrange her personal life - some guys appeared, then disappeared (however, crowds of enthusiastic applicants never ran after her). She was told that she wants children (yet they do!) - but then she even refused to experiment, because you can quit a job or a boyfriend, but you can’t hide a born child back ... especially since the desire to babysit even with other people's children , even temporarily - she never had. She learned to drive and got her license, but she still preferred to be driven. And she never had any hobbies. Well, she was told that everyone has a hobby - she tried this and that, but after a couple of days she burned out. Yes, by the way, in childhood it was recommended to check her for autism, but they never checked, and after that the need seemed to have disappeared: well, a person lives for himself, without mental retardation, and that there are some problems with socialization - so no one is an introvert canceled! And, of course, she herself does not want to go to psychotherapists: "What am I, a psycho, or what?"
And, in general, everything with her would be more or less good (many people would probably say "you should have my problems!"), But not only did she not have happiness in her life, but she never even had any way to it. did not look through. At one time I suggested that she go for career guidance (this case helped me a lot to figure out where the goals are and where the Wishlist is) - she went, but then said that she had not heard anything interesting. Literally, "nothing that I could not google." I (and not only me, for sure) made a rather obvious assumption to her: they say that many people do most of their time what they don’t want to do (and I myself am no exception), but they do it in order to earn their own right to devote at least some time to what makes them happy, to some business of their dreams! Someone is lying in the garage under the hood, building a unique monster from a rusty basin, someone collects boats in bottles, and someone just sits on the river with a fishing rod or cross-stitches there - that is, it’s just a matter of finding yourself some occupation for which everything else can be tolerated; activities that will give your soul a rest! She said that she rummaged through these our Internets, but did not find anything that she had not heard about before, and none of this attracted her. I suggested that she write to this community - but she said that she did not want to waste time registering and thinking about the text. In the end - here, I write myself.
Why am I writing this? I don’t know myself ... I hope for a miracle, I guess. Well, "sorry for the bird," as they say. I don't understand how you can live like this. Yes, I also had hobbies that died off over time - all sorts of collecting-aircraft-modeling-paintball-liveness-politics-hunting-you can-list-for a long time - but still, some remained for which you can live (computer and women , yeah %))! I’m even more used to the fact that people more often have some kind of Wishlist than the ability to satisfy them ... but to the contrary? Although again, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just a computer scientist. That's why I ask: does she have any chances, or is this karma - to sit and wait for death, as the end of the test of a tedious and unpleasant thing called "life"?
P.S. I'll try to answer many similar comments at once. Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, I want to say that you have placed the accents somewhat incorrectly. Whether she is led or not is the last thing (many people are happy, even being led all their lives). The main thing, in my opinion - just the answer to the question "happy or not." Let me try to describe with examples (at the same time satisfying the request "tell me what it means to you").
So, I: I sleep 7-9 hours a day, I get up quite easily on an alarm clock, most often feeling like I've had enough sleep. I usually get up with a neutral high spirits, which could be expressed by the phrase "now I will try to quickly do what necessary and then I'll do what I want to". I have enough strength and mood to work (it even happened that I worked for weeks for 15 hours a day - there were just orders, and the Great Goal and Dream of Life warmed me: to earn money and move to the warm sea). When it comes to Like, the mood changes to good. Doing what I like gives me pleasure, strength to live the next day, and the feeling that this day was not lived in vain. It also happens, of course, that I want to hands no longer reach, because the whole day is spent on necessary(and then, predictably, it is a little upsetting) - but this is rather an exception, at least - now.
She: sleeps for 8-11 hours, gets up often irritated (but after a couple of hours this mood changes to neutral). According to her: "I get up after a good night's sleep, but not rested, emotionally devastated, as if only the body was sleeping, but the brain was working." He gets up with difficulty, setting aside some (considerable) time in advance to unstick himself from the pillow. Forces during the day is enough for a short time (several hours of work maximum, then "I don't want to through"). What does she do when she's not working? Sits on the Internet, reads various resources such as Yap, Adme, etc., if she writes herself, then very rarely. The mood remains neutral, occasionally changing to joyful on random occasions that cannot be consciously reproduced every day. But her favorite state is a state of rest, a semi-conscious drop out of life (and just a dream too). In this state, in her own words, "if an ax flew at me, I would not even bend down." Well, in fact, the phrase that was uttered yesterday, and prompted me to write this article, sounds like this: "I want to forget, not to think about anything, not to feel anything, not to take care of the needs of the body - just observe from afar in order to there were no necessary". That is, if you call a spade a spade - a person does not like life (activity) so much that he does not see anything terrible in death. You will still say that this is normal, and that it is just right for an outsider (me) to shake shoulders and go about your business?
Crises happen in everyone's life. On some days, nothing works out, and laziness is felt so acutely that there is simply no strength to get together and do at least something. The good news is that after such a period of calm, the rise usually begins, and in a matter of hours we redo all our affairs and find time for an interesting rest. But what to do if you met a person who does not want to do anything all the time. Or if that's how you can be described?
We are trying to identify the reasons for inaction
Some people are indeed very lazy by nature. From early childhood, they barely get ready for classes, then they somehow study at the institute, because it is necessary, having entered adulthood, they remain disorganized and passive observers. If you look, it is easy to understand that such individuals do not know how to assemble and do not have special ambitions. Often a person who does not want to do anything simply does not have the right motivation. Such people lack self-organization. It's worth starting with Think about what you would like to achieve. If there are no sincere desires, try to convince yourself that reaching this or that height will help you significantly improve your life. Write down the goals you find, even if they seem out of reach even now. And make plans to achieve them.
From planning to action
It doesn't matter what you want, to buy a car or enter into a profitable marriage. Remember that a person who does nothing is unlikely to achieve anything. In fact, all you have to do to make a big purchase is start earning more (get into a higher position or find an additional source of income), learn how to save money, and maybe take out a loan if you can repay it on time. If you are a person who does not want to do anything, do not forget to remind yourself every day of your dream. You must remember that even the smallest of your actions brings you closer to the fulfillment of desire. Also think about how much better you will live when you achieve your goal.
I sit, do nothing, and dreams come true?
If you manage to develop the right strategy, you can achieve your goal with minimal effort. Try to make the process fun. You can please yourself with some little things for every successful week. For example, arrange a vacation for yourself, or make minor purchases. Even the most lazy man, who does not want to do anything, will become more active as soon as his life becomes more interesting. Try to get more vivid emotions. For example, persuade yourself to quickly do a boring task in order to have lunch with friends. If you are saving money for some major purchase, you can please yourself with intangible things. Suppose you allow yourself a few hours on Saturday to spend in front of the TV or at the computer for the fact that you managed to save a good amount for the week. Or go for a walk all day. In order to always remain active and cheerful, do not forget to come up with new desires and goals in a timely manner. And remember that there is no limit to perfection.