You come to the store, and the seller is rude to you, reluctantly and freely releases the goods to you? Trying to find out how much a subscription to a solarium costs from the administrator of a beauty salon, and she, in turn, “rolls” her eyes and mutters something indistinct?
“These people just don’t want to work!” - you will say, and you will be right. Indeed, sometimes there is a feeling that a person is simply in the wrong place. And his presence "here and now" is due only to the need to earn money.
Why is this happening? Why does a person not want to work? How does this affect business owners? What governs people who are so "hammered" in their careers? The opinion of a psychologist and an ordinary, ordinary person.
Cause - why a person does not want to work
If you started looking for the answer to this question on the Internet, then most likely you have such a person next to you. Be it: your employees, husband, wife or just a friend. For attempts to change something, it is necessary to understand the root cause of unwillingness to work.
Such a “doomed” loved one is a heavy ballast for many. In the case of the leader - a decline in business profitability, in the family stream - general degradation and the right path to the collapse of the union.
Let's stop stating facts and move on to answering questions. So, what can rule a person who stubbornly does not want to work.
Lack of motivation
This is the main and only reason that gives rise to a tangle of troubles. Lack of motivation can be temporary or permanent.
Of course, a short period is short - it passes quickly, a person independently motivates himself, arousing a desire to work and achieve a goal.
It is much worse when the absence of something motivating accompanies a person throughout his life. Like a snowball, this problem builds up more and more, superimposing one on top of the other.
As an example, we can talk about the woman Mary.
Even at a young age, she did not know who she wanted to work with. Moreover, she was not interested in any activities, there was no hobby. Maria did not want to do anything in order to gain some interests. Her husband, who she met along the way, had a similar attitude towards life.
Years passed, and Maria worked in the nearest store for the sake of the amount of money needed for food. She had no desire to travel or redesign her apartment. Everything she did - in fact, worked on the stomach.
This way of life led to other changes. Maria began to get fat, feel bad, "launch" relations with her husband. After a while, the changes that arose with the primary lack of motivation began to pull Maria down even more. She didn't want anything. "Where will I go on vacation if I'm fat?" “Why should I earn more if I have enough money?”. Why should I try if everything suits me anyway?
Do you get the idea? The lack of motivation for you or your loved one for a long time provokes a number of problems that affect his work. Why should a person try and work if he does not have a goal and a global cause for which he “creates” this.
As mentioned earlier, considering the question: why people do not want to work - there is a main reason and secondary ones.
Laziness is a less global reason for the lack of desire to work. It is much easier to fix, unlike the first paragraph of our article.
Nevertheless, this psychological element, present in a person's life, will always "stop" him, reducing the quality of work, of course, the level of income.
Fear
Yes, yes, it also happens that a person who does not want to get a job is simply afraid to goof off there. Of course, any adult, sane person will understand that without starting to do something, you can “sit on the priest” all your life. However, this reason is probable and quite possible in modern realities.
By the way, aggravating circumstances are open data, which is so relevant on this moment. The successes of others, shown in in social networks and on websites - they can only exacerbate the fear of starting something new and, as a result, taking on any job.
Apathy, fatigue
A possible reason why a person does not want to work may be his physical condition. Unfortunately, in most regions of Russia, this criterion can play almost the main role.
Bad ecology, little sunlight, no sea, useless products. Of course, the appearance of apathy and fatigue in physical terms can lead to a complete lack of motivation.
Psychologist's opinion and statistics: at what age is the unwillingness to work the most
According to experts in the field of psychology, the lack of motivation is directly related to labor activity person. As mentioned earlier, the less sense of purpose, the worse a person's career develops. Accordingly, the less a person wants to work.
According to experts, this perception is most popular among young individuals or, on the contrary, people over 45 years of age. In the first case, consciousness has not yet formed an image, goal, motivation. In the second - the brain dictates "everything is already gone, it's too late to start."
As a rule, at a young age, much is still subject to correction. As an adult, things are much more complicated. The actions of "anti-motivation" have been debugged for years. To educate and instill something new is almost impossible.
By the way, this is why it is very difficult to find a decent job at the age of 45+. HR officers understand that it is difficult to “fit” a person to the step of the company, it is extremely difficult to motivate him.
What to do if my relatives do not want to work
Under the word “relatives” we will also consider employees of companies. So, what can you do to get your husband to get a job? How to make employees smile at customers, give all the best and not “score” on duties as soon as you leave the office.
Of course, there is a way out of every situation. Just getting angry or giving up is not the point. Anything can be fixed. The main desire.
Understanding the cause and the way to correct it - we cultivate the desire to work
This rule applies to everything and this moment is no exception. Having understood the root and cause of the behavior of a single person, you can begin to act.
In the case of a complete lack of motivation
Employees should form an incentive plan and a motivational table, in which there will be some bonuses for any minor achievements. Of course, from small achievements, it is necessary to “add up” one large, hard-to-reach, long-term goal to which they will strive.
If something similar happens in the family, in this case no motivational tables will help. The way out is warm, sincere conversations aimed not at highlighting failures, but at building joint plans.
Perhaps your husband dreamed of his own country house? Stir his mind, find ads for the sale of land, start a conversation about building a house.
Smoothly lead the conversation to the fact that, having stable income or a little higher - you will succeed.
In case of laziness
One thing will help Golden Rule, which simply needs to be conveyed to the head of the person who does not want to work. Advise him to do what he doesn't want for just one minute.
Those same 60 seconds will make the lazy start his own business. Where there is a beginning, there is work. Here you will see. The main thing is not to get distracted.
Fear
In this case, for sure, having understood the reason, you will most likely be able to help the person. If the “sick” admits that he is afraid to get a job or do something to grow in career ladder, the problem will be solved by 90%.
Of course, heart-to-heart talk about how many start in fear and succeed will help. It is not necessary to convulsively recall stories from life. Here you can also fantasize a little.
In case of general fatigue
Again, if you understand the cause, you can eliminate it. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself. Apathy and fatigue do not arise at the request of the "sick", maybe he is glad to work, but hard.
Vacation, sea and sun will help to radically improve the situation. Of course, it does not happen that a person does not want to work for any, one reason. A combination of factors affects the general consciousness and attitude of a person to work.
The above tips are just essays for reflection, modest ideas and hints of "in which direction to think." Of course, it is impossible to make someone work well with the snap of a finger, or just make another person work.
In the case of business owners and bosses, stimulating an employee to work is a hell of a job.
AT family life, after several years of marriage - perhaps there is nothing more difficult. But, as practice shows, understanding, awareness and help to a loved one will help solve any problem.
What do you think about this topic? Why do you think people don't want to work? How to make sure that such situations do not arise?
Nowadays, women reach no less heights than the representatives of the stronger sex. However, many men forget that building a successful career is the right of a lady, but not a duty, and therefore they simply expel the chosen one to work. But what should women do if they do not plan to occupy leadership positions, and even they have enough to live on? How to explain to your partner that work is not the meaning of life? We asked Olga Krainova, an expert, writer, TV presenter, founder of the Good Wife School of Women's Wisdom, to tell us how to properly convey our position to a man.
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Elena, 23 years old
"I do not want to work. My dad has been supporting me for a long time, and I take it for granted. I know that all my peers already have their money, but why should I achieve what they already give me? I can’t get up with roosters to crawl into the office after dark through traffic jams. And what good can I do in such a terrible state? So you can earn not money, but health problems. There will be bad skin, and everything else will also have to be treated.
I recently met a guy who doesn't like this arrangement. And how can I convey to him that I am satisfied with this state of affairs and there is no need for me to go to work? He is very good, but he believes that a woman simply has to do something and earn money accordingly.
Olga Krainova:
I understand that your point of view is that you can live perfectly on daddy's money? Of course you can understand. The skin really deteriorates, and getting up in the morning is also problematic. With a pessimistic attitude, no one will benefit this world. Here you have all the arguments not to even try to send out your resumes. However, on the other hand, you like a young man who does not like your point of view, and you do not want to lose him.
And he's right, he's not to blame.
Understand that men will not respect you for such a point of view. And you yourself think, why? A normal man wants to see a personality with him. An interesting and developing personality, a person with whom you can talk about something, who can achieve certain success. Can set goals and achieve them. Of course, we are not talking about a degree, but you should strive to learn something new in order to be able to keep up the conversation and interest your interlocutor. Believe me, for this you need to work, do something for self-development, expand your horizons and your interests. It's not as difficult as you think. Start small.
I hope you can find a compromise and be able to keep both the young man and the skin in excellent condition.
What do people think?
In fact, it turned out that there are many such situations. Many people leave their comments on various forums, speaking for or against both partners working.
Ivan, 40 years old:
“Now most young people, not only women, have decided that they have no reason to work. And all because their parents spoiled them! I feel sorry for these kids. What will grow out of them?
Svetlana: 31 years old:
"Well done girl! I support her and advise her not to pay attention to the guy's pressure. If he is serious, he will accept any decision!”
Nikolai, 27 years old:
“I would never date women like that. What to talk about with them? And to live on the money of parents is humiliating.”
Olga, 24 years old:
“I have a similar situation. But I met a man who doesn't care if I work or not. He says that the main thing is happiness and harmony in relationships.”
Valentina, 38 years old:
“Or maybe he just doesn’t want to work himself? So that you provide it too. Settled well."
AT modern society, where the role of a man as a breadwinner and breadwinner has not yet been fully disavowed, there are situations when the husband does not work. Or, alternatively, he often changes jobs, which, of course, cannot be considered a fact of family stability either. The development of such features of the social system as the acquisition by women of equal rights with men and the strengthening of the female role in traditionally male positions led to the fact that beautiful ladies build a career and reach the top social significance much easier than men. The situation when a wife earns more than her husband no longer seems paradoxical. Someone already seriously believes that it is time to talk about men as lost members of society. And more and more women complain on the forums: “My husband does not want to work!”
Of course, not everything is so bad. Men are a worthy half of humanity, and in no case should they be written off. After all, we cannot survive without them: the world around us will become dull and gray. Traditionally - for many centuries - they were earners and protectors. It is quite difficult to change this view of the strong half of humanity. This is probably why the fact remains: if the husband does not work and cannot find a new source of income for a long time, then family problems of a critical nature are very likely to arise. Let's try to understand the reasons why representatives of the strong half of humanity join the ranks of the unemployed.
A man without a job. Why?
In search of yourself ... This is one of the common reasons why a husband does not want to work. He simply cannot find a business to his liking, bringing a penny to the family budget. The breadth of choice, as you know, often makes the very fact of choice impossible. It is precisely because of this that it is often extremely difficult for a man to find a point of application of his forces. Therefore, it is so common that a husband does not work if the work does not suit him in terms of personality development and male self-realization.
Routine and boring duties can kill in men their natural creativity. And an insufficient level of income does not allow them to fully feel like the head of the family. After all, according to a man without money, in the eyes of those around him, his status is greatly reduced. All this makes him look for more and more new job options that best suit his inclinations and passions. But, alas, most often such a process is greatly delayed in time. What to do if the husband does not work, but is still “looking for himself”? In this difficult period, the task of a smart wife and a real friend is not to “nag” a man, not to shout at every corner that her husband does not want to work, not to hint to the other half that he is a nonentity and a loser.
Should the wife earn in this case? Oh sure! Those women who, in this difficult period, can provide their beloved with both moral and material support, do the right thing. Faith and striving for the best can literally do miracles. Let us inspire a man with the idea that he will definitely find his place in the seething whirlpool of life - and soon, as if by a wave magic wand everything will change for the better.
If a man was fired from his job, how to make her husband work again
Getting fired from a job is not as rare as you might think. Especially in a period that is commonly called a crisis. Such a dismissal is a strong blow to the psyche and pride of a man, not to mention the fact that a change in social status is experienced, as a rule, very painfully. More recently, a man had a job, he made plans and brought income to the family ... And already today your husband does not work and is forced to open the doors of an employment center. Perhaps this situation is more complicated than the one when suitable job can't find for a long time. If a person who is used to and loves to work remains out of work, we can talk about such a phenomenon as a psychological catastrophe.
What to do if the husband does not work after the reduction? In this case, a lot depends on the correct behavior of a woman, and sometimes family happiness in general. First of all, you do not need to help your husband or friend in search of a new job - it is possible that he will perceive these good motives as a strong blow to his pride. It is important to give a man time to recover, gather, "regroup forces."
And everything will definitely work out. A person who owns a specialty and has work experience will definitely find his place in the sun. The absence of psychological pressure on your part, a joint trip on vacation - and things will definitely go smoothly in the very near future.
If a man earns less than a woman or does not work at all
If a man's income is less than the amount that he brings to the piggy bank family budget woman - this is perhaps the most difficult of the cases considered. But here, as they say, options are possible. The husband does not work, what should the wife do? If she considers him the head of the family, regardless of his material contribution to the common cause, then such a couple, without exaggeration, can be considered happy. But in the vast majority of cases, the situation is exactly the opposite.
Almost all of us, to one degree or another, are hostages of stereotypes imposed by society. One of them says that a man is the earner and breadwinner of the family, which means that he must earn enough. If things are different, then the man automatically falls into the category of losers and losers (after all, women want to see support in the face of their husband, not a freeloader). This, in turn, gives rise to a number of heavy complexes, which, alas, take out on the one who is nearby. That is, on a close woman.
In solving such problems, a competent psychologist can help, who can give a couple good ideas. practical advice. In some cases, the advice of experienced girlfriends who have gone through similar tests helps. But in any case, you should get together and hold your loved one who is in such a depression with all his might. Just love, thereby letting him know that he main man of your life. It would be nice if a woman helps a man find a useful and exciting hobby that allows him to open up and fulfill himself. It will not be superfluous to praise on any occasion, significant and not very. If a man feels that he is on the sidelines in material terms, then he needs the faith and support of loved ones like never before.
In any case, the choice of methods for saving a man from fruitless mental anguish and the formation of unnecessary complexes always remains with the woman who is close to him. After all, only she knows how important support is in difficult life periods. It is important to always remember that together you can overcome any hardships and troubles. And life will definitely change for the better.
But what if the husband does not want to work and does not feel any remorse at the same time? It is important to understand here that a man consciously chooses a passive role and feels great in it while you work hard at work in the name of a bright future for the family. And if you see that your husband is not even going to send out a resume, but once again asks you for pocket money, think about it: do you need such a miracle of nature? After all, you were marrying a man, not getting yourself a freeloader, right?
Hello dear readers! Have you ever experienced a strong reluctance to go to work? This can happen for many reasons, ranging from an uncomfortable office environment to the onset of depression. How to understand the reasons, what to do if there is no desire to work, where motivation comes from and how we sometimes interfere with ourselves very much.
Find the reason
Fatigue at work. Now you are faced with the task of understanding whether you do not want to work at the moment or have never experienced much zeal at all.
Why do I suggest starting with this? If you've had a dislike for work all your life, there's only one way out. If the reluctance appeared relatively recently - another.
Option one - you never wanted to work. Maybe you saw an example of a mother who never earned money, went about her own business, raising children, and the father worked in the family. And it makes you want to stay at home, not work and pursue your hobbies.
First, my mother had certain conditions to afford not to have a job. Secondly, the family had a father who brought money. Maybe they had a certain agreement with their mother. Ask your parents about this for more details.
The second option - the problems appeared recently. There could be a whole bunch of reasons for this. Contact with the employer is not getting along, a bad atmosphere in the team, long road, constant conflicts with colleagues at work and so on.
Analyze your behavior. At what point did you lose the desire to work? Maybe your occupation seems dreary, unnecessary and useless to you?
If you experience more negative emotions regarding work, then I recommend that you read the article "". There is no hopeless situation, remember that.
period of apathy
Unwillingness to work can be one of the symptoms of incipient depression. A person does not want to leave the house, meet people, communicate even with close friends. Is in a state of constant fatigue, neither eats nor drinks.
The reluctance to go to the office may be completely unrelated to the work process itself. The man just lost the meaning of life. Lost himself. He doesn't know what to do next. Everything seems useless and worthless.
There are two ways out of this period: give yourself time or ask for help from a specialist.
One of my acquaintances fell into apathy, which dragged on for a year and a half. She did not work, did not want to meet anyone, did not pick up the phone, occasionally left the house only to go to the store.
All this time she delved into herself, understood, engaged in introspection. She needed that time alone. And after a year and a half, the apathy was gone. She now holds a senior position in big company, chat with your friends and make new acquaintances.
But it happens that a person himself cannot get out of such networks. In this case, you should definitely consult a psychologist. The cause of depression can be much more serious than it seems at first glance.
If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, we will analyze the situation together and find a solution.
Who seeks will always find
What to do when in the morning there is not enough strength to get yourself to work? If you have determined that the reasons lie in the environment in the office, then the solution is to change the office. If you are not satisfied with the long road - again, find an office closer to home.
Try to be like interviews. I have a nice detailed article about what you need to do to make the interview go well. Make a high-quality resume, post it on job sites. Interviews keep you on your toes and give you a real picture of what you can expect as a professional.
One of my friends was sure that she knew English at an ideal level. And it is true, she has always been the best in this subject. But as soon as she went to the interview, she realized that she really lacked practice.
Don't be afraid to go to interviews with no work experience. Maybe the whole point is that it's time for you to change the direction of your activities. Try to find an activity with a free schedule that you can do in non-working time or in combination with the main activity.
It is important to understand where you are moving, what you can now offer in the job market and what position you can safely count on.
To do this, build a graph of your professional growth. Start from the very beginning of your career and up to today. What qualities have you acquired, in what direction do you need to gain experience, what do you do best. The ability to earn money alone is not enough to enjoy work.
One of my clients cursed her work, She hardly forced herself to leave the house in the morning. Her boss seemed to deliberately mocked her, her salary was constantly delayed, the team was not distinguished by friendliness. She has been interviewing for over a year. The woman began to despair. But she kept looking. And recently she came to meet me in a wild delight.
She found a great job, with a higher salary and a higher position. Who seeks will always find.
If you suffer for a long time and are confused in search suitable place for yourself, check out the article What to do if you can't find a job ».
Some begin to hate their job because of their superiors, thinking that they would be better off with this responsibility. Try to be your own boss. Organize your workflow, create correct schedule day, make a list of tasks, break them into categories.
This will help you understand if you are ready to start working for yourself and fulfill the responsibilities of a leader. I have a great article for those who are not afraid to start a new business - " How to work for yourself ».
Sign up for a Skype consultation with me and together we will find a way out of any situation.
What stresses you in your work? Why are you tired of it? What causes reluctance? How are you trying to deal with it? What measures are you taking?
Always remember the phrase: choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a single day in your life.