Don't take yourself too seriously. Taking yourself seriously is the most important skill in life. Your attitude changes reality

Do you have to catch yourself in life thinking that you are absolutely tired of taking everything seriously! Surely this feeling is familiar to you, it’s just that many people think that it’s necessary to live like this - the more serious you are, the more you are respected! But, unfortunately, such an attitude towards oneself and life is fundamentally wrong! As psychologists say, increased demands on oneself lead only to complexes that are very difficult to get rid of. This, of course, is not about thinking only about yourself and ignoring others. Just don't beat yourself up high demands and please the whole world! How easier is it to relate to life if you treat yourself with constant criticism and claims?

Life is a series of independent events. And it is not necessary to prove the opposite every day, falling into depression and despondency.

Golden mean

It is very important in life to treat yourself with due respect and understanding. Yes, to yourself, not to others. The more you tend to experience and constantly nitpick your actions, do not appreciate small victories and constantly grumble because of a bad state of affairs, the more difficult it is for you to exist in harmony with yourself! You constantly see mistakes, madly worry about them, considering yourself and failed personality. You drive yourself into depression, not seeing a way to change and fix something. But in fact, everything can be completely different! It is your attitude towards the world that makes you more demanding and self-centered. But this does not mean that you need to become absolutely indifferent and go with the flow.

It is necessary to find a golden mean: you live and perceive everything that happens much easier! You are not God and not a king to control everything and change the whole world! Learn to coexist harmoniously with an imperfect world, it can sometimes be easier to adjust and not scold yourself for all the problems. Psychologists say that the “excellent student” complex makes a person absolutely unhappy - a person is used to being the first everywhere, and tries to involve everyone around him in his “faith”. And in the end, even reaching heights, he sees the imperfection of the world and suffers from it!

Allow yourself to become simpler and freer - as soon as you understand that you are not obliged to see only perfection in everything, you will gain incredible ease and freedom of choice. Do not invent non-existent problems - if the husband was delayed for 15 minutes, it is not necessary that he was hit by a bus, maybe he just started talking with colleagues or was late for the minibus! Do not chase the ideal, it simply does not exist! So is it worth spending your life on soul-searching and searching for personal flaws?

Freedom of choice is main gift man, so why waste such a gift and choose an eternal struggle with yourself.

Reducing the importance

How to take life easier? Very often a person "flounders" in his failures precisely because he takes them too seriously. It is necessary to clearly prioritize: well, how can you be upset because of a bad haircut when, for example, you have a wonderful loved one? Is it worth your attention? Think about how people get sick and even die, and you suffer because of bad pancakes for breakfast. People simply do not understand that by wasting themselves on all sorts of little things, they are missing something really important. Psychologists recommend clearly prescribing what worries you the most in this life.

Write directly on the points: for example, family, health, work, or something else. Now think about how your constant stress over small things affects these aspects of your life. You yourself are stealing energy from yourself, and it simply won’t be left for a more important matter! Try to imagine or even draw a big road, on which draw the most important things in order of importance (move the little things away from you). And you will immediately see the real state of things, and as soon as you want to become depressed because of an unsuccessfully purchased dress, take your drawing and remember what is dear to you.

Many believe that a too serious attitude to life is inherent in their character - but this is a delusion. This stereotype is formed throughout life and aggravated over the years. Therefore, it is necessary to change your attitude to everything that happens as quickly as possible. Tantrums, breakdowns, uncontrollable anger - all these are manifestations of a too serious attitude to life! Remember, the more important the problem seems to you, the longer you will not be able to find a way out of it. Try to abstract and look at it from the side. Maybe not everything is so bad, but the way out will be found, sooner or later!

Own line

Although our life is full of problems and unpleasant situations, it is very important to have your own line and stick to it in any situation. What does this mean? Even every negative event does not necessarily entail a stalemate, you must be able to adapt to the course of life. Nobody urges you to just humble yourself - allow yourself to be an ordinary person who knows how to accept and overcome difficulties. Well, you didn’t achieve what you wanted today, but completely different opportunities may open before you!

Not suitable job, maybe you should try to do something diametrically opposed. After all, as we know, when one door closes, another one immediately swings open. No luck so far in your personal life - it doesn’t matter, an absolutely amazing person awaits you in the future. It is important to really understand existing problems and not in the situations you imagined. You need to “bend” your line, while you yourself need to become more loyal and flexible! This will be difficult to do at first. Start with the little things: the work does not satisfy, change your attitude towards it! After all, this is not the main occupation in life, switch to your family, devote more time to your relatives. This will bring you emotional release and. Dreaming of a trip, but no money - it's okay, go to a neighboring city and just take a walk, admire the beauty and understand that you can entertain yourself in different ways.

Going with the flow does not mean wallowing in your failures. This is just a way to quickly swim to new opportunities without breaking your neck!

Mistakes and mistakes are not a reason for self-flagellation

A person must understand that he has the right to make mistakes on life path! After all, we are not machines, we cannot predict everything. And while you punish yourself every time for mistakes, you will instill in yourself more and more new complexes. Well, you made a mistake and what, unless the world will collapse at once? Of course not. You just need to understand and accept it, well, you didn’t manage to do 50 push-ups today, and what, this will never happen now? But people who are too strict about life will take it as a personal defeat. You should not think that everyone around is only following your accomplishments, people are only concerned about their lives. Therefore, it is stupid to prove something to others.

Try to relax and be loyal only to yourself, do not constantly scold yourself for every little thing. Do not spoil your life with non-existent obstacles and defeats. Change the stereotypes that were once instilled in you. Mom taught you that you have to be perfect, and you look at her life and analyze why they want something unrealizable from you. Maybe this is her complex, then you should absolutely consciously refuse such an idea. Love yourself and listen to your inner voice and then you will find harmony and understanding of life!

The ability to take a situation seriously can be a wonderful quality and show your sincerity, caring, and hard work. But if you treat things too much Seriously, there may be unnecessary stress and excitement for minor reasons. Understand why we take our reality too seriously and how to dilute your life with humor and a measure of nonchalance in order to relax and enjoy every day.

Steps

Part 1

Mindset

    Use the list of questions to see the truth of the situation. Think of a series of questions that will help you get over the seriousness and prioritize. Think about the following the next time you encounter unjustified seriousness in your thoughts:

    • Should I be upset about the situation?
    • Is it worth it to upset others because of the situation?
    • Is it really that important?
    • Is everything that bad?
    • Is the situation impossible to fix?
    • Is this really your problem?
  1. Be generous to others. A serious attitude often makes it difficult to understand when a situation should be taken lightly or as a joke. We begin to jump to conclusions about other people's actions or words. For example, if a person says that you have a small stain on your shirt, it's easy to take it as highlighting your inability to be presentable. Thus, help is perceived as an insult.

    Learn to see humor. The ability to notice humor in everyday situations is just as important as the practical perception of things. If the thought “I’m too old for this” or “Is this really funny to anyone?” slips through your mind, then try to find the part of yourself that finds this funny, even if this means putting yourself in the place of another person.

    Develop flexibility. Sometimes it is impossible to understand where life will lead us and why certain events occur, so the failure of plans and the unattained goal can mean something completely different and unexpected. You have probably heard the idea that happy life is a path, not a destination. Relax and loosen the reins, because it is often the actions of not according to plan and the unknown that cause joy and pleasant surprises that you would never have dared to.

    Part 2

    Course of action
    1. Break your habits from time to time. Get off the main road, let events disrupt the usual course of things, because this is the only way to get used to the fact that fate constantly surprises us. This will allow you to experience the benefits of unplanned events like meeting new friends at a bar that you have always avoided.

      • Even minor changes, like a new route to work, remind us of the need to pause and focus on what we usually don't notice. Little things like this help habitual image thoughts (distract from the worries that set you in a serious mood) and immerse yourself in the present moment.
    2. Learn ways to deal with stress . In moments of depression, we tend to take everything seriously. Stress causes our body to react intensely to circumstances. There is a vicious circle: a person is stressed because of their seriousness and takes everything too seriously because of the stress. There are a number of mental and physical ways relieve stress:

      • long-term lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise
      • making to-do lists;
      • attempts to contain negative internal dialogue;
      • progressive muscle relaxation;
      • mindfulness and meditation based on visual images.
    3. Find expression in movement. Relaxation literally makes life easier and helps to have fun looking at the world. There are many mobile types of creativity and art that help to relax the body, tense with serious thoughts. Depending on your hobbies, you can do dance, yoga, aerobics, or expressive creativity like comedy improvisations and theatrical productions.

      • Courses are always more useful than self-study, as the opportunity to relax in the presence of other people is more inspiring than trying to learn on your own.
    4. Fill your life with music. Frequent listening to music allows you to change your mood by enhancing specific feelings. If you want to relax and focus on the more joyful aspects of life, listen to upbeat and upbeat music.

      • Listen to works in fast tempo and major key. Any genre will do as long as it allows you to relax and unwind.
    5. Find opportunities to laugh. Deliberate laughter allows you to notice humor in everyday situations. Simple ways to laugh more often:

      • watch funny movies and TV series;
      • attend comedy performances;
      • read the humorous section in the newspaper;
      • tell funny stories;
      • arrange game nights with friends;
      • play with your pet
      • go to laughter yoga classes;
      • do not be afraid to fool around with children;
      • make time for fun activities (bowling, minigolf, karaoke).
    6. Make up jokes to deal with petty frustrations. There are always inconveniences in life, but they can be turned into jokes. If you don’t see anything funny when you find a hair in your soup, then at least laugh at the fact that such an insignificant object can influence your plans (or cause a conversation with a waiter in a cafe ...).

      Surround yourself with fun and caring people. One of the most simple ways stop taking life too seriously - regularly communicate with cheerful people whose very presence makes you forget about seriousness. Notice friends and new acquaintances who easily laugh in any situation and inspire you to similar behavior.

    Part 3

    Reasons for severity

      Pursuit of perfection. Over-seriousness can sometimes come from trying to live up to certain expectations. For example, you strive to eat right, cook only the most healthy gluten-free dishes. If you are offered a piece of cake at a party, you will likely cringe, feel uncomfortable, and go into long, lengthy explanations about your diet. Imagine the thoughts of the person who offered you the cake: “God, this is just a piece of cake. Why make it so difficult?"

      Trying to prove myself. Sometimes seriousness is caused by the fact that we perceive everything as a confirmation of our abilities and worth. Remember students who perceive any assignment as a final exam? One bad assessment and they already consider themselves losers on the way to complete failure.

      • If you perceive any task as an assessment of your abilities, a person will consider even the most trifling matter a moment of truth and a test of strength.
      • How comfortable are you with showing your vulnerability? At work and at home, by default, we are required to show remarkable resourcefulness and efficiency in all areas of life. As a result, a person is afraid to show the slightest signs of insecurity or stress.
      • The situation is exacerbated if the bar of expectations is raised too high. Are you striving to maintain your reputation as a workaholic and jack-of-all-trades?
    1. Encouraging purposefulness in culture. The pursuit of productivity and efficiency makes those who set and achieve goals the most valuable. It's easy to overlook the fact that this is just a profitable commercial tactic. If applied to all areas of life, then a person convinces himself that he knows what needs to be done and how to achieve it.

      • It is good to be a product of culture, but knowing the origins of such a worldview helps to use this approach responsibly, and not coercively.
      • This attitude significantly limits your ability to explore the world around you, to easily experience all the surprises and surprises that life throws at us.
    2. Seriousness as a defensive reaction.

4. Don't take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at your own mistakes joke about slips of the tongue, find humor in your slips, and appearance.

it lovely way become a more cheerful and charming communicator (participant in the communication process).

It's nice to be around people who aren't constantly trying to justify themselves or explain their mistakes.

If you make a mistake, don't make a molehill out of a fly: just step over it and move on as life goes on.

Though self-criticism is a great way to build rapport with people, as it shows that you are not driven by vanity and are not constantly on the defensive (don't go overboard with it). Don't criticize yourself unnecessarily and don't point out mistakes that could harm you.

I advised so many people to rethink their approach when I noticed that they, in trying to be charming, began to devalue themselves, saying, for example, that it is very difficult for them to work in the morning and they can only do it at gunpoint; or when asked to clarify something, they said that it was slowly reaching them. Don't even think about talking about yourself as slow, dumb, lazy, disorganized, always late, frivolous, or use any other epithets that can damage your reputation.

Not taking yourself too seriously is wisely diminishing your own dignity by revealing, witty or slightly casual, those personal facts or characteristics that people usually hide for reasons of vanity or fear of criticism.

When was the last time you didn't speak your mind out loud simply because you thought it wasn't interesting? Have you ever had an idea but didn't implement it because you thought no one needed it? Have you ever given up even before you started doing something, because no one will appreciate your efforts anyway?

So many articles tell us: just do it, don't worry about what anyone thinks. Don't give a damn about the opinions of others. Just work. Chase your dream. Go ahead, don't give up.

If you don't take yourself seriously, all of these articles are worthless. It is always easier to convince yourself that the efforts made will be unimportant and all undertakings will end in failure in any case.

You need to understand: there is a special type of people who quickly fall into euphoria from what they are doing, and just as quickly lose interest in their own endeavors. We need to learn how to focus on what really matters. This is the only way to get to the finish line and tell everyone around about your results.

If you do not take yourself seriously, it will be scary to look back

You spend a lot of time daydreaming but actually doing nothing. You have ideas, but you don't even try to implement them. Or you try but give up quickly. No one cares what you get there anyway.

The worst thing is to wake up in 10 years and remember all those times when you almost started to implement your project, but never finished. And there was something worthwhile. And it wouldn't be hard to finish what you started. And the idea was great.

If you don't take yourself seriously, you lose your sense of reality.

You will end up living a life that you don't like. You will look forward to discovering your passion, love, and calling. In this expectation, you will work at an unloved job, filling your time with unnecessary and uninteresting things. Sooner or later you will feel that you have locked yourself in your own body. And it is not clear who then controls all this madness.

The worst thing is to wake up after 10 years and realize that you have lost touch with your personality. And you don't know who you really are. And you do not see any difference between what and what other people want from you.

If you don't take yourself seriously, you'll lose your place on the podium.

And then you start to notice how someone else puts your ideas into practice. And all that's left for you is to stomp on the sidelines and say: "It was my idea." Maybe so. But only another person took it seriously. And he took himself seriously too. "If it's interesting to me, it might be interesting to someone else," he thought. And implemented the idea.

If you don't take yourself seriously, negative emotions will eat you up.

When you don't take yourself seriously, you resent those who do. Those who talk about themselves. Those who promote themselves. Their ideas will seem selfish and ridiculous to you. Or you look at the people you like and see once again that you will never be that cool.

By not taking yourself seriously, you are self-sabotaging. You constantly execute and scold yourself, wasting time and opportunity. When something doesn’t work out for you, you only make sure that you spent your energy in vain.

Perhaps things would be different if you initially thought: “Since I decided to start something and put the time and effort into it, it’s definitely worth it.”

You get depressed. You are angry with yourself. You are disappointed in yourself. “Why am I not doing anything,” you say frustrated. The main thing is that you no longer believe that you are capable of something. It's too late.

Not really.

Everything around you is opportunity.

You don't know what you want to do. It scares. You don't even know how to do it. It's complicated. But, when you start taking yourself seriously, the answers to these questions will appear sooner or later. For the simple reason that you will trust yourself, believe in yourself and start working. When you believe with all your heart that your ideas are valuable, you will go into battle every time. And then people around you will start to take you seriously. Don't hide your ideas - implement them.

First you believe in yourself. Then we believe you.