Vlad is from Rostov-on-Don. Fate brought him to the Ruza district, when, after graduating from the Moscow military music school, he entered regional branch University of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation in Teryaev. Here he met his future wife Alla. They got married in their fifth year. Now three charming babies are growing up in their family - six-year-old Albina, three-year-old Veronika and one-year-old Agatha. Young people are now in no hurry to have children: someone wants to make a career, someone does not dare to take this step because of the lack of an apartment, and someone simply does not want to burden themselves with problems. Friends of Vlad and Alla often ask them if it was scary to give birth to so many children. They are sure that children are a great joy that nothing can overshadow: neither cramped living conditions, nor illnesses, nor the troubles that babies inevitably bring.
Gridins know how to build their lives in such a way that it does not turn into an everyday routine and there is time for hobbies. Alla is actively involved in sports: she plays volleyball and basketball, runs in the stadium in summer, skis in winter, participates in various competitions, from which she brings medals. I swam in the pool until the very birth. Vlad played in the university brass band, performed with a vocal ensemble on various stages, and sang in the church choir. His passion for photography eventually grew into a business.
And it all started trite: friends gave him a camera and asked him to shoot their wedding. Then there were other proposals. Photo and video filming captured Vlad: he began to read specialized articles, search for necessary information on YouTube, analyze the work of other photographers. And, of course, with each new shooting, I gained experience.
The idea to open a photo studio was spontaneous. When Alla became pregnant with her second child, Vlad wanted to capture her, because women during the waiting period are so beautiful, they seem to glow from the inside. It turned out that the nearest photo studio is in Moscow, which is far and inconvenient. Traveling to the capital with a newborn is even more difficult. And the pictures at home, as shown by the first experience with the eldest daughter Albina, left much to be desired. It was then that Alla offered to equip her studio. There were doubts about the success of this project, because Ruza is a small town, and such services could be unclaimed.
- And yet we decided, - says Vlad. - We didn’t build business plans, we found suitable premises, which we were helped to design by my wife's friend and part-time designer Ira Shumkina. We spent all our savings on this.
Initially, there were few orders. Their number increased in bad weather. We even joked that the rainy summer near Moscow contributes to our business.
With the opening of the studio, the status has increased: many photographers provide services, but there are no rooms where you can order pictures in beautiful interiors. The Gridins have regular customers who ask to capture different periods of their lives: romantic relationships, weddings, the birth of children, family celebrations, and other moments. With many of them they became friends and constantly communicate.
“Creating a photo chronicle of your family is very important,” Vlad believes. - Some couples even ditch the lavish wedding in favor of memorable ones. wedding photos. The best photo shoot is in the private home of the customers themselves. Then the pictures are very lively, emotional, and most importantly - real. I love it when several generations of the same family participate in this. And I also like to photograph children, I always find with them mutual language that allows you to reveal the individuality of each baby.
AT family business his wife helps him. After graduating from Teryaev University, Alla worked for three years in the Department of Internal Affairs of the Mozhaisk District. Then she went to maternity leave and, without leaving the first, gave birth to two more daughters. During this time, she was awarded two regular ranks - captain and police major.
It is not known if she will return to the law enforcement service, because she also likes to take pictures very much.
- Work in general should be a pleasure, - says Vlad. - After all, I left Teryaevsky University for a reason, where after graduation I served as a platoon commander. I realized that “building” people, requiring them to follow some instructions, is absolutely not my destiny. I am pleased to see the smiles of people, to bring them joy.
According to Vlad, the main thing in life for him is a large, friendly and loving family. He also wants to build a spacious house, where there would be enough space for everyone.
But for now, the Gridins have bought an apartment. Immediately after the wedding, they became participants in the municipal program "Young Family", last year they received a certificate, added money and purchased their own housing. They are currently refurbishing and refurbishing.
They also dream of mastering photography of newborns, they plan to shoot videos for organizations. Want to do something social activities. Somehow they organized a master class on creating cartoons for the pupils of the Astarta children's rehabilitation center. Recently started partying board games For everyone. They have been donating blood for several years now. But they want something big. I think that Vlad and Alla will succeed: they know how to set goals and achieve them.
Galina BELOZEROVA
Photo by Anastasia MALINA
We advise you to pass this test even to those people who do not doubt that they give the family maximum time and effort and try to see the family as often as possible. Do not think that the answer is elementary, and if you spend every free minute at home, this already means that the family occupies a dominant position for you. Everything is not so simple. Target this test- determine what you are capable of for the good of your family. After all, an exemplary family man can also be called a person who is not at home for several days, working at the same time at three jobs so that his relatives do not need anything, and giving this literally all his strength. And what are you capable of for the well-being of your relatives? Don't worry and take the test.
1. Your doctor has advised you not to eat fatty, salty, spicy foods and more. Which of the following meal options is most convenient for you? Options:
you will cook for yourself separately - 1;
do not consider it necessary to eat separately, but ask your relatives to take into account the peculiarities of your diet when they cook - 2;
when you see how the whole family eats a baked leg of lamb stuffed with garlic, and at that time there is a plate of semolina in front of you, a feeling of envy completely discourages your appetite. Let relatives better endure and dine with porridge with you - 3.
2. You smoke and everyone else in the family can't stand the smell of tobacco. You:
tolerate and refrain from smoking in the house, whatever the cost to you - 2;
do not smoke in the apartment, running out into the street for this, even if there is at least a blizzard - 1;
you demand from your relatives that they treat your weaknesses with understanding - you don’t have so many of them, therefore they can endure - 3.
3. How much of your paycheck do you keep for personal expenses? Options:
1/2 salary - 3;
1/4 salary - 2;
You give your entire salary, leaving almost nothing for yourself - 1.
4. How do you usually spend your holidays? Options:
engaged in the improvement of the "family nest" - 2;
for family members to healthy lifestyle life, ready to sacrifice a relaxing holiday in a sanatorium and go with them to conquer Elbrus - 3;
stay at home, trying to spend more time with your family - 1.
5. Returning home after a pleasant evening with old friends, you experience the following feelings:
although the evening spent with friends was not bad, you return home with joy. However, as always - 1;
oppressive thoughts that again you have to return to these four walls, where the boring buzz of your second half and the capricious cries of children do not stop - 3;
the senses? Yes, none special feelings. Just returning home - 2.
6. Are you able to make the whole family eat only pasta for six months for the sake of a purchase that requires a lot of money? Options:
yes, if the purchase is really necessary and its acquisition will greatly facilitate the life of the family - 1;
yes, and even if the acquisition of a new thing is far from a matter of life and death - 3;
no. You can find a way out of any situation, and you can perfectly do without this expensive thing. Have managed without it until now - 2.
7. Do you agree with the statement: “My home is my castle”? Options:
yes, exactly a fortress from which it is impossible to find a way out - 3;
Yes. No storms are terrible in the circle of your family - 2;
no. But make every effort to put into practice this statement - 1.
8. Your spouse's birthday is coming up, and you have minor financial problems in the family, as wages were once again delayed at work. How will you do it? Options:
the birthday boy will surely understand if on this day we don’t give him anything but our attention and care - 3;
make every effort to get money, even if for this you have to unload wagons at night (sew a dress to order) - 1;
run around all your friends and borrow the required amount, not being afraid that this will plunge the family into the abyss of the financial crisis, but relying on your ability to painlessly family budget deal with debt 2.
9. Who usually in your family comes up with the idea to finally make repairs in the apartment? Options:
you yourself - 1;
one of the relatives - 2;
you decide to do repairs only after one of the guests who came to visit, looking around the apartment, says meaningfully: “Yes-ah-ah ...” - 3.
10. Surely you have done repairs in your apartment more than once and you can tell how long it takes approximately:
week - 1;
month - 2;
two months or more - 3.
11. Do you sometimes forget about any holiday family dates that are usually celebrated every year, such as your wedding anniversary? Options:
never. Even if memory fails, all memorable dates are recorded in the diary - 1;
occasionally, but it happens - 2;
often - 3.
12. Do you consult with your spouse when deciding to change jobs? Options:
do not think that relatives necessarily need to be dedicated to the details official duties. It is necessary to be able to separate work and family - 3;
be sure to consult and do so always when you have to make important decisions - 2;
consult, because the problem for you to make a decision on your own is 1.
13. All week you dream of spending the weekend like this:
finally escape from the house, go to a friend and at least sit with him in silence for a while and relax - 3;
take a walk with the family around the city - 1;
go to the cottage with the family - 2.
14. Suppose your hobby is collecting rare varieties of cacti. Can you set aside an entire room for them, turning it into a greenhouse, if you live in a two-room apartment? Options:
why not? You can always make room - 3;
why such extremes? Some cacti are not worth such sacrifices at all - 1;
you will turn your bedroom into a cactus greenhouse so as not to move to another room - 2.
15. The festive menu in your family consists of:
all family members - 2;
only you - 1;
you do not make a festive menu and cook what you know how - 3.
16. Where do you usually celebrate New Year? Options:
at home with family - 1;
with family, but away - 2;
away, but without family - 3.
17. Coming home from work, when you saw an ice cream stand, you could not resist and bought several servings for each family member. And only when they came to the door, they remembered that the child had a sore throat and ice cream was contraindicated for him. How will you do it? Options:
good not to be wasted? You will have to eat his portion, and the child will surely understand - 3;
well, you will have to eat it yourself, but it is better to do it so that the child does not know about it - 2;
going into the kitchen, put the ice cream in the freezer until better times, when the child recovers - 1.
18. A friend invites you to his birthday, but on the condition that you come without your "abnormal half", meaning your spouse, who can ruin any holiday. You:
unconditionally reject the invitation, considering such a review of your (your) spouse as a personal insult - 1;
be glad that at least someone shares your opinion about your wife (husband), and gladly accept the invitation - 3;
in general, they agree with the statement of your friend, but still this is your wife (husband) and your conscience does not allow you to leave her (his) at home - 2.
19. Your spouse (spouse) fell ill (fell ill), and the doctors recommended inpatient treatment:
the decision of the doctors is undeniable for you, you will do it - 3;
the hospital still won't be able to take care of you the way you do. Take a vacation at your own expense and, leaving the patient at home, will take care of him yourself - 1;
leave the patient at home and hire a nurse, not because you do not want to waste your time, but because the help of a qualified specialist will be much more useful - 2.
20. Found out that your child stayed at school for the fall. You:
give him a scolding and strictly control that all summer he does not raise his head from textbooks - 1;
right up until the fall, you will spend every free minute helping your child understand a difficult subject - 2;
let him learn to correct his mistakes and achieve everything in life on his own - 3.
Results:
From 20 to 38 points:
The family certainly means a lot to you, but by nature you are a person who is not inclined to put up with something that does not suit you even in the slightest. In the family, you demand absolutely equal rights for yourself and even a little more, so if you have to sacrifice one of your habits, you perceive it as cruel discrimination. Of course, you are ready to give up your addictions for the sake of your family, but for this, at least a critical situation should arise when the question arises: either relatives, or your established lifestyle. Show a little more attention to your loved ones, and in return they will doubly give you their care.
From 39 to 50 points:
The question "Where is your family?" confuses you for a while. But the point is not that you do not know what place you assign to the family in your life, but that you never thought that the family could occupy any other place than the first. Don't be in a hurry to flatter yourself. This fact does not mean that you are actually capable of sacrificing everything when it comes to family. The trouble is that in the course of everyday life, when one day is not much different from another, you somewhat forget about the importance of the family in your life, as it becomes something for granted. But don't despair - you are not hopeless. Everything is not so bad, and in order to remember that the family is the most precious thing for you, you do not have to wait at all crisis situations that threaten your family well-being. Does the child have a birthday? You will make every effort to arrange a holiday for him and, sitting at the festive table and looking at the happy faces of your loved ones, you will understand that the best moments in your life are just those that you spent with your family.
From 51 to 60 points:
I wonder what place you assign to your family? Of course, the first, as well as all the others that you can think of. Family for you is not just an abstract concept, but a world separate from the rest, which you are ready to protect by any means. But in your family you are not a reigning despot, who rules the fate of people who trust him, but the keeper of peace and the family hearth. For the sake of the family, you are ready for anything, even if this is not required at all. Therein lies your problem.
Surely, to your surprise, such zeal is not always welcomed by relatives when you make every effort to take an active part, for example, in the life of your child. Do not think that they are embarrassed to ask you for help, rather, they are simply afraid of offending you by rejecting when you offer them your company. Try to moderate your ardor and, before taking an excessively active part in the affairs of loved ones, think about whether your intervention is really necessary.
do not consider it necessary to eat separately, but ask your relatives to take into account the peculiarities of your diet;
when you see how the whole family eats a baked leg of lamb stuffed with garlic, and there is a plate of semolina in front of you, a feeling of envy completely discourages your appetite. Let relatives better endure and dine with porridge with you.
2. You smoke and everyone else in the family can't stand the smell of tobacco. You:
tolerate and refrain from smoking in the house, whatever it may cost you;do not smoke in the apartment, running out into the street for this, even if there is a blizzard;
you demand from relatives that they treat your weaknesses with understanding - you don’t have so many of them, so they can tolerate it.
3. How much of your paycheck do you keep for personal expenses?
1/2 salary;1/4 salary;
You give away your entire salary, leaving almost nothing for yourself.
4. How do you usually spend your holidays? Options:
engaged in the improvement of the "family nest";in order for family members to lead a healthy lifestyle, they are ready to sacrifice a relaxing holiday and go with them to conquer Elbrus;
Stay home and try to spend more time with your family.
5. Returning home after a pleasant evening with old friends, you experience the following feelings:
although the evening spent with friends was not bad, you return home with joy. However, as always;oppressive thoughts that again you have to return to these four walls, where the boring buzz of your second half and the capricious cries of children do not stop;
the senses? Yes, no special feelings. You just return home.
6. For the sake of a purchase that requires a lot of money, are you able to force the whole family to eat only pasta for six months? Options:
yes, if the purchase is really necessary and its acquisition will greatly facilitate the life of the family;yes, and even if the acquisition of a new thing is far from a matter of life and death;
No. You can find a way out of any situation, and you can perfectly do without this expensive thing. Have managed without it until now.
7. Do you agree with the statement: "My home is my castle"? Options:
yes, precisely a fortress from which it is impossible to find a way out;Yes. No storms are terrible in the circle of your family;
no. But make every effort to put this statement into practice.
8. Your spouse's birthday is coming up, and you have minor financial problems in the family, because. once again, wages were delayed at work. How will you do it? Options:
the birthday boy will surely understand if on this day we don’t give him anything but our attention and care;make every effort to get money, even if for this you have to unload wagons at night (sew a dress to order);
run around all your friends and borrow the required amount, not being afraid that this will plunge the family into the abyss of the financial crisis, but relying on your ability to cope with debts painlessly for the family budget.
9. Who usually in your family comes up with the idea to finally make repairs in the apartment? Options:
you yourself;one of the relatives;
you decide to do repairs only after one of the guests who came to visit, looking around the apartment, says meaningfully: "Yes-ah"
10. Surely you have done repairs in your apartment more than once and you can tell how long it takes approximately:
a week;month;
two months or more.
11. Do you sometimes forget about some holidays that are customary to celebrate every year, such as your wedding anniversary? Options:
never. Even if memory fails, all memorable dates are recorded in the diary;occasionally, but it happens;
often.
12. Do you consult with your spouse when deciding to change jobs? Options:
do not think that relatives necessarily need to be privy to the details of official duties. It is necessary to be able to separate work and family;be sure to consult and do so always when you have to make important decisions;
consult, because it is a problem for you to make a decision on your own.
13. All week you dream of spending the weekend like this:
finally break out of the house, go to a friend and at least sit with him in silence for a while and relax;take a walk with the family around the city;
go to the cottage with the family.
14. Suppose your hobby is collecting rare varieties of cacti. Can you set aside an entire room for them, turning it into a greenhouse, if you live in a two-room apartment? Options:
why not? You can always make room.why such extremes? Some cacti are not worth such sacrifices at all;
you will turn your bedroom into a greenhouse of cacti so as not to move to another room.
15. The festive menu in your family consists of:
all family members;Only you;
you do not make a festive menu and cook what you know how.
16. Where do you usually celebrate the New Year? Options:
family home;with family, but away;
away, but no family.
17. Coming home from work, you saw a tray of ice cream, could not resist and bought a few servings for each family member. And only when they came to the door, they remembered that the child had a sore throat and ice cream was contraindicated for him. How will you do it? Options:
good not to be wasted? You will have to eat his portion, and the child will surely understand;well, you will have to eat it yourself, but it is better to do it so that the child does not know about it;
after going into the kitchen, put the ice cream in the freezer until the best time when the child is well.
Hey! turn around! Your wife (husband) is already leaving you! You work very hard, do not pay attention to your family. And you still ask what to do? On the other hand, it's good that you are working, spinning, doing business and trying to earn an extra penny in our crazy time! Do you want to talk about it? Today our team will work as psychologists.
Work comes first for us ... yeah, well, yes ...
Here's what comes first for you: work or family? This is the most open and popular question of our time: what comes first in life? Everyone knows that since the Stone Age, a man has been a breadwinner, and a woman has been preparing food, looking after children, that is, keeping a home. Well, as you know, we now have equality and not only men want to make a career. For example, we know several women who are at the head of a business or company. You will also find such examples. So, for men and women, work often comes to the fore, and the family remains in the background. Worse, when they do not have time to start it at all.
Statistics: 70% of career people have no family at all!
What is more important?
There is a generally accepted opinion: a man is engaged in a career, and a woman should keep the family hearth. We have identified several reasons why women go to work today:
- If they have a lot of free time;
- Not enough money (classic of the genre);
- To feel like a team member, a full member of society.
And what about that woman who wants to realize herself as much as possible in the service, to show all her talents? What is more important to her: work or family?
It all depends on the man. A woman is lucky if he is not an egoist and refuses to support her in all endeavors.
But statistics tell us that such families are rare. Any man sooner or later begins to reproach a woman (or vice versa) that she (he) pays little attention to the family, and everything more business, work.
If you look at everything from a female position (after all, women often have to choose between family and work), then she chooses herself. If she gets bored of sitting within four walls, then why not work. Only so that it does not harm the family. Let men now also think about this question. You need to realize yourself, just find time for loved ones.
The family influences the work ambiguously!
In general, the influence of the family on work is a complex issue and can be considered from many angles. If you have a close-knit family, then the husband can support his wife in her endeavors. For example, a woman can easily rise through the ranks, knowing that she will be supported, and a calm family environment helps not only women, but also men.
According to statistics, 80% of men believe that the family has a charitable effect on business, work, but women, on the contrary.
As soon as a person begins to build a career, time for a family becomes less and less. He literally leaves the household without attention. Of course, one of the spouses does not like the situation if the other one works for a long time. This means only one thing: a person makes a choice work or family. And what you decide is up to you. If you gave preference to work, business, then in our time it is very commendable, but the family should not suffer because of this! And for you, what comes first in life?
Fascinating work...
Often, work is so exciting that a person simply cannot live without it. People work from morning till night to earn a lot of money, so sometimes they even forget what they are for. They don't even have time to relax, to see friends. Spouses communicate only at dinner! Well, is this life? Did you want it?
Now try to remember when you and your spouse were young, there was little money, not enough for everything, but at the same time you were happy. Why is this happening? All because before you knew how to rejoice and enjoy what you have.
What happened now?
Now one of you comes home from work, and the other one is already sleeping. When the first wakes up, the second is already at work. But it is not necessary to allow because of this that a loved one becomes a stranger.
What to do?
A question that has been tormenting everyone since ancient times. But what should we do in our situation? We need to sit down and talk! This is the best option! If you do not want to quit business, affairs, work, then just discuss what you can do for the family. First, set aside a day when you can devote time to each other. It is important to spend at least two days a week together. You can just watch TV together, go to nature, go to the cinema. Communicate more, remember good moments from life, while not saying a word about work!
So, know how to prioritize, speak seriously and negotiate, because the family is your personal “state”. And diplomacy is important here in the family! Work is very important, but family should not be forgotten either. Think about whether it is worth sacrificing work for the sake of the family, or vice versa. Isn't it easier to negotiate? How do you think?
We advise you to pass this test even to those people who do not doubt that they give the family maximum time and effort and try to see the family as often as possible. Do not think that the answer is elementary, and if you spend every free minute at home, this already means that the family occupies a dominant position for you. Everything is not so simple. The purpose of this test is to determine what you are capable of for the good of your family. After all, an exemplary family man can also be called a person who is not at home for several days, working at the same time at three jobs so that his relatives do not need anything, and giving this literally all his strength. And what are you capable of for the well-being of your relatives? Don't worry and take the test.